I experience some depression from SAD every year, too. I do the best I can to maintain and it helps to understand that it's cyclic. I think that any surgery on a family member will cause stress and it's normal to be apprehensive and fearful. Give yourself permission to experience the normal range of feelings about this while being supportive of your family.

the holidays make me think 'big picture' and yes I start to question life too. I have to get through the holidays the best I can - put the brightest face on it. I am sorry you cycle down during this time. It is hard. I am sorry to hear about your stepson. You're a kind man and partner to worry about being there for your wife. I find at times when I feel hard pressed to 'feel like' things are going to go alright... I try and find a zone for myself. Like a stoicism - to just put one step in front of the other and do what I need to do to take care of life. It might feel like to you that things aren't going well - like it does to me - but then I know my filter is only really aware of my own state of mind. I am sure if you just keep at supporting your wife - she will appreciate it immensely. Everyone knows it's very hard to be just so or perfect during emotional and trying times. Do the best you can. Peace and best wishes, Mark

Welcome back jf..... It's nice to see ya back.....

I am so sorry to read about your stepson.... A lot of people suffer at this time of year with SAD..... My pdoc really believes in the 'happy lamps' and the science behind them.... I've ordered one for myself but I don't have 'my' results as yet....

I'm not sure if that's what you're going through or not?... I would talk with your pdoc.... Maybe a med tweak would help?

I would try and take things one day at a time.... That's all we really have anyway and you can lean on each other for strength perhaps..... Gentle hug and a blessing.....xo

Sorry you have stressful things going on right now. What you might consider, if you know this pattern is there every year, you might meet with your Pdoc to talk about what you might do "tweaking your meds" to make sure and keep things stable during this period of active Moods. For many BiPolars the change into Winter months can be a major trigger into Depressed Mood States, and it can require med changes as well as making sure you get plenty of Vitamin D. The best source of Vit. D is sunshine. If you can make it out in the sunshine for 20 min. 2 times a day that will help your Depression. You can also take Vitamin D supplements, 3000 I.U. per day is standard dose. In Winter months the days are shorter and the Sun is weaker and shines less, so our bodies get less Vitamin D, this can be a big contributor to Depression.

I hope your able to meet with your Pdoc and get a plan in place to get things under control.

Take care,
kat