Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm typing, because I don't know what else to do. Typing this is hopefully going to make me feel better. I tend to get awful seasonal depression. I am a devout Catholic Christian and try hard to keep the season in perspective, but I have three kids and a wife that feels the need to make this about as commercial of an exercise as humanly possible. I am impacted by the mood of my wife and she has seasonal depression as well. Right now, I feel like I would like to step in front of a bus. I feel very down and am trying to fake it for everyone's benefit. I want to run away. I have a lot to be thankful for and I am thankful. But I can't help feeling like this.
My resting heart rate has been about 100. I have these weird pulses/throbs in the skin around my eye, eyelid and nose. (It's kind of a nerve twitch.) Maybe I'm going to have a massive heart attack and that will be it. I don't think I really want to die, but I do want to get away from all this. I would rather be at work and don't like being at home. I really just feel down and out. I don't think I'll ever be happy for feel good again. It may be necessary to leave my wife. Of course, that won't happen until after the holiday.
I do sincerely hope that everyone is having a happy holiday. I want everyone to be happy and enjoy the spirit of Christmas. Hopefully you are with loved ones and feeling good.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Have you seen your pdoc recently?... If you haven't I would give him/her a call and if you need to go to emerg
This is a chemical imbalance that needs treatment... Depression being the cycle of hopelessness.... Remind yourself that this is a treatable cycle and that you will find stability again... If you need to you can simply call for help and help will come.... If you are able to wait until after Christmas you can but you don't have to
There is help through this dark place... It's hard to see when you're in it but you will again
Big hug and a blessing....xo
I think of depression as if I was driving on the expressway and I hit a patch of "black ice". You simply steer straight and don't react too much..and then you are off the ice and you have traction again. Dunno that's my analogy for coping with depression. Hope that it's helpful for you.
I agree with SunCloud, maybe call a therapist? Get in contact with a PDoc in your area. Check out online review websites maybe? I think there are websites that people review Pdocs etc on.
Hope you feel better.
The winter solstice has passed. The days are getting longer again. Oh, what a relief it is. Here comes the sun.
Hope you find your own relief soon, jf.
I can only echo calling your pdoc is a must medication and therapy only work with feedback that you must give...I think your family would miss you a lot.
Active suicuide is stepping in front of a bus passive suicide is having a massive heart attack and not going to the doctor to get a resting pulse rate of 100 checked out. Make the phone call and take a step....