Antari_Zephyr

Antari_Zephyr

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About Me

Age: 38
Gender: Male

I don't hate on people about anything and love to make friends. I'm willing to talk about anything and don't mind answering questions about myself even if they could be considered embarrassing. I just want to help people in whatever way I can. I've been through many, many things, so I can relate to many people. I enjoy any kind of conversation, be it comedic or completely serious. I never force my beliefs on anyone, ever, but I'll acknowledge I believe in Jesus Christ. I spent a long time training my mind until I no longer lied about things, even so called white lies. So if I say something, I mean it! If you message me aand I don't answer, it is not because I'm angry or whatever or ignoring you, I'm honestly just not there or busy with something big in person. Never worry about upsetting me! I have trained my mind to lose anger to the point where as most people have many things that can trigger their anger, I have two things, and both would have to be done in person, not online, so I will never get angry with you. I'm honest, so if you think I think you are boring, fear not, because I would tell you, and I find people interesting anyway. I'm mentioning some of my illnesses and trials in life not for pity, but to show you that I can relate to a lot of things. This isn't near all of them, just some. I am sometimes paralyzed. I have chronic full body pain that requires narcotics which I obtain legally. I am on fentanyl patches and hydrocodone. I also have seizures now and then, and always have insomnia. The only ways for me to sleep are 1, to let myself pass out after three or more days of sleeplessness. 2, to wear my body out when I am able to and go without energy sources like food so that I just shut down, or 3, the easiest and healthiest way, which is using carisoprodol, a strong muscle relaxer that forces sleep on me. I just have to take a bunch, where most people wouldn't. I have aphasia, so I forget words at times and literally CANNOT remember names without aid (so I remember people with stories and pictures, then add the name). I have hyperacusis, a hearing problem where I hear things unfiltered to the point where my cat and I hear on the same level, but she can adjust her ears, and I cannot. This requires me to be knocked out to sleep, and any dog barking, talking.... well, let me say it like this: if there is a whisper outside on the other side of the house, I hear it. My parents have no sound privacy. I can't keep from hearing everything they say. There's also the OCD, which I consider to be an extreme case, and will share info on how it affects me (literally painfully). There's the loss of my first dad at age 16, not being able to connect with my new dad despite loving him and also despite him loving me. I can't work. My memory disappears like waves in the sea. It always returns, but it can disappear in one second and take anywhere from a few seconds to two days to come back. I forget major events and cannot remember dates or days. There is more, but that's just an example. I can relate to a lot of stuff, you see, That's why I mentioned it. If you do want to speak about Jesus, that is fine. For example, I bet you've met Christians who are pushy and act like jerks... well, Jesus specifically told His followers never to push beliefs on people, never to force them! So don't expect me to force anything on you. I'm not a pushy person, and Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship with Jesus, God, and The Holy Spirit. I believe anyone can be forgiven, no one is better than anyone else, and I NEVER act holier than thou. I've spent many, many years studying the Bible until I began to hear The Holy Spirit and Jesus. I'll be told something, then suddenly find it was in the Bible where I'd never checked before. Jesus just speaks to me and through me. The peace is amazing.

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