I am in a relationship with a man for the last 5 + years. For 5 of those years we have been dealing with ED. He has given up and I am about to give up on him, because it doesn't seem like he has any feelings to what I am going through with this problem. I feel your pain, I'm living it too.

Yes. It's horrible. It's crushing. And I don't know where to go for help.

I have been married 6 years and we had occasional bouts of ed (we're 60's) but last September it became full blown. It has been devastating for both of us because we love each other very much. Sometimes I can handle it more than others but it is terrible on your self esteem. Are the web-sites given in this group legitimate, I really really need to know. We can't afford $10.00 per pill for help. Please advise.

I always take this very personal, if I don't arouse my H. He is 40 and I don't think he should have this problem. Last year he haad two back sugeries and that was part of the reason . H also had a EA with a woman from work so, I am really not sure what is going on now again. Some times it does and sometimes it doesn't work. I get so upset.

My H has ED, we have not been intimate for over 10 years. He cannot maintain an erection for intercourse. I know he masturbates as I have found the evidence, this hurts me deeply as I have vocalized throughout the years that I would like an intimate relationship again. He just doesn't seem to care. To be fair to him I think he avoids sex because he becomes frustrated when he cannot maintain his erection. For the last 2 years he has moved to sleeping in another bed. Somehow I feel like I must have something to do with this problem. I gained a lot of weight over the years. I feel so crushed sometimes.

I'm recently married (March 27) but my husband and I have been together for almost three years. I'm getting tired of throwing myself at him! At times I wish I had not married him. To make things worse, he says he wants a child...yeah not really happening with no sex going on. I don't know how much longer I should give him. It's so sad because I love him with all my heart, but the lack of intimacy is getting to me.

My husband and I were married in Aug. '05. I'm 44 and he's 63 but that doesn't seem to be a problem, until recently. When we were married, he had a little bit of trouble of ED but that was because he was overweight. Throughout our marriage it's always been sex on weekends and it's always planned. Never spontaneous.

About 2 years ago we went for our physical checkups and found out that my husband has extreme high blood pressure. He's been taking medication to control it and it's now under control.

We've had several long discussions of his ED and I try to understand what he's going through and to be supportive. It bothers me because when I would like to be intimate I have to 'ask' for it instead of it being mutual. We haven't had 'intercourse' for well over 5 years, always oral and yes that's pleasing too but it's not enough. We've tried the occassional toys but they not the same.

Recently, about 2 months ago my husband came to me and expressed the desire to order the penis 'vacuum' machine that would help him maintain an erection and to have actual intercourse. We tried it once and he became frustrated because it wasn't holding his erection. It's now sitting in the drawer collecting dust. He's talked about using it again but never goes that route. When we ordered it, he was all excited because he's a very sexual person, or so he says but I haven't seen it in our marriage. He talked about using it 3 maybe 4 times a week so that we too could have a child. I try not to get my hopes up because I know him and I know that he sometimes talks without any action taking place.

He's also tried the Viagra, Cialis and other pills out there but those cause him heartburn, back pain, headaches and the such. He's miserable for 2 or 3 days before the pill finally leaves his system.

In the past 4 months I found out that he was 'talking' thru the internest with a woman from England, sexually speaking. It bothered me so he stopped. Then this past weekend I stopped by his work and found that he was watching porn on the internet and masturbating. No shock to me because I've always heard that men will masturbate frequently, and the watching porn isn't all that surprising to me either as we've always been open and honest with each other from day one. We used to watch porn together but it's like taboo now because of his condition.

Sometimes, it doesn't bother me, other times it does. Like I've said, I try to be honest with him and completely understanding of his pain and frustration but without him taking a proactive step towards doing something about it, I find myself becoming more resentful.

I can't stand that sometimes he 'talks' about how he's going to 'give it to me good' and then the weekend is here and he doesn't take any action. So I've stopped asking to be intimate with my husband.

I don't believe in having an 'on line' relationship with anyone nor do I believe in finding a sex partner to satisfy my needs. That's cheating to me and I can't bring myself to do that.

I'm at odds end and I just don't know what to do.

My husband is not even trying. His neglect is killing me. I ask myself every day how I could possibly deserve this. I feel crushed all of the time. This has gone on for way too long, progressively getting wrose. Neither of us are even forty.

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and he does have some issues perfoming. He has gotten a lot better in this area but it is still a struggle. We waited five months before having sex per his request and I think it was because he felt ashamed. Luckily, those five months really taught me that there is more to a relationship than sex. And trust me it was very hard waiting but I pulled through. I am an extremely sexual person but for the first time I see the way its supposed to be. Love first. Wow this sounds corny. Anywho, if the love is strong enough, you'll pull through. Love will always find a way. A lot of times we have to find alternatives. Toys are a great option. A little embarrassing but they get it done. There are other ways too but I am not going to share them here. If anybody wants more suggestions just send me a message. And believe me, I know that sometimes love is not always enough. We all need to be physical.I love this man too much to let it be a deal breaker. I tell him all the time if he were any other man, I don't know if I would have stuck around

for me I use it all and stopped for a year and was not happy...if I do receive oral it kills my intercourse erection..today we tried and I couldnt finish so mon we try again..I use both meds and device and it never fails meds by themselves will not raise it

My DH has this from time to time. He has had a back injury with spinal cord pressure that has caused difficulty. He is also over weight and probably has high blood pressure. To top it off he smokes and can hardly breath. I keep this in mind so I don't just think it's me. I often do since I am getting older and time as taken it's toll on me. I think people going through this should communicate clearly what the problem is so as not to cause doubt or insecurity in the other. I feel bad for him and try to understand and be supportive. It just messes with my head at times.

Yes!!! my husband and I have been together for eight years with ed, I believe that I have been overly patient, extremely understanding. I am really tired of it though, I love him so much but I crave intamacy. He's fine without it apparently.........

you may be surprised that he hasnt given up just doesnt show it for your benefit . I cannot give up as long as my wife supports me try using meds and device sometimes i change meds and it helps...rest and stress is critical....no pressure to perform!!!!!

My daughters husband had a problem,he didnt have a desire for sex for 11 years.She stayed faitful and she was only 28.But she wanted a baby so he started taking meds and got some test done.They found a non cancerous tumer on his brain that affected his sex drive.When that was treated he was able to have sex.Then he left her for another woman.But she has a wonderful husband now and a 3 week old daughter.Alls well that ends well.

You see as a man I can tell you this, there is nothing worse than feeling something for a woman wanting nothing more that making her happy and satisfied, but being totaly unable to do anything about it. You "switch off", dont confront the issue as I have for nearly 7 months and im single. Imagine what that would do to a woman if I was in a relationship!, but luckily for her she doesnt excist. Us guys dont face up to it at times beause it is SO FUC**NG PAINFULL! you just want to end it. The repercussion is that you will feel unloved/ desired- aint so, im sure he loves you and needs you like air to breathe. Please dont give up on him.