akaangela

Hi all.  It has been 2 years today since my baby boy died.  I was in the hospital for 2 weeks.  I just got out on the 26th.  They wanted to keep me through the 2nd but I convinced them I could...

Well the holidays are upon us once again.  It is the second holidays without James Robert.  I am very depressed and am going to my counselor once a week now to just try and get through them....

Well It has been a year, 7 months and 22 days since James Robert died.  Tomorrow is his birthday.  How am I doing?  not too well.  When James Robert died I was 440lbs (my official weight  was...

Well today I can't help thinking of James Robert.  He loved his dad so much.  I don't know why it hurts to remember that but it does. James Robert's birthday is on the 25th of July. It has been a...

Well I made it past yesterday.  It was filled with tears and awful memories.  It was almost like i was living it again.  It made it fresh  and I am as upset as I was last year.  I am thinking do...

Well it has almost been a year.  It has been a hard one.   I still miss him with all my heart.  I have almost begun to accept that he is never coming home.  Instead of expecting him to walk...

Today has been a killer.   I got through James Roberts birthday, seeing his bench and now I just held a 16 day old baby.  The baby was the hardest.  It all hit me just then.  The memories came...

Well yesterday was 7 months since James Robert died.  I was in tears most of the day.  Especially when one of his fav songs came on the radio.  I was at the pool and just started sobbing.  Today...

Well I finally got the autopsy report.  It was a horrible read.  I couldn't read it all the way through.  It broke my already shattered heart, which I thought impossible.  I am hurting so bad...

Well I am going down to house sit my mom's place while she is in Hawaii.  It will be the first time I have been alone for more than a day.  It will also be the 6 month mark since James Robert died....

Life is so empty without James Robert.  Every time he would come into a room it would light up.  He always had a smile.  I miss him so much.  We are just over a month away from his 23rd birthday....

Another rotten day.  I have given up on prayers.  I have given up believing in the fairness and goodness of life.  I really don't care what happens to me anymore.  There is nothing that can fill...

Well today I finally got an answer what killed James Robert.  It was aspiration pneumonia.  The ME said it looked like he was throwing up and inhaled sharply and his vomit got into his lungs.  I...

I want to start out by thanking everyone here.  It is so good to know I am not alone.   Today is another day.  I look out at the window and wished James Robert was still with me.  It is...

Well I went to the pool.  I am trying to get back into the exercise that I was doing so well in before James Robert died.  There is one particular life guard that reminds me SO very much of him....