Another day
Life is so empty without James Robert. Every time he would come into a room it would light up. He always had a smile. I miss him so much. We are just over a month away from his 23rd birthday. Mothers day suck big time. I still haven't gone down and seen his grave. I want to believe he is still alive. Does that make me strange? I really don't want to face that he is gone forever. I wish more than anything it had been me instead of him that died. I try hard not to think about him because when I do it is like prodding a sore tooth. It hurts beyond belief. I cry all the time. I have lost all gumption to do anything. Life just seems to plod along.
Replies
My heart just aches for you. I think we all wish it had been us that died instead of our child. Your James Robert sounds like my Jeff. Jeff could make me smile and laugh. I could never stay mad at him. It does not make you strange to want to believe that James Robert is alive. Please take care of yourself. Hoping for you some peace my Friend....Nell
There is nothing strange about you. As I am told, when you are ready you will face what you need to, until then cry, scream, \"plod along\" because sometimes that\'s all we CAN do. I am so so sorry. My heart aches for you and with you. Much love - Vicki
I am so sorry. You are not strange. You will go to his grave when the time is right.
There are no right or wrongs when it comes to grieving. We each do what works for us. The only constant is the fact that the pain is indescribable.
I too wish it had been me, not Lisa. But that was not to be. I am only here because of FMO and my husband, son, and granddaughter. Perhaps the antidepressants help too. They don\'t stop the tears but they help me to cope with things.
It is so much more difficult for you as you lost your only child. But with the help of FMO, i have faith that you will get through. As someone said, we get through but we never get over the loss of our children.
Please do whatever you need to, to get through - yelling, throwing things, counseling, meds. etc.
We are on this road together.
Love and caring hugs,
Marlene
(((hugs)))
My heart aches with you darlin~~
No, nothing strange about our actions or words, or lack there of.....what\'s strange is losing our children. That is strange, unknown, foreign, and SO not OK!
\"Plod along\" my friend as best you can. That\'s all any of us can do.
Jan 2, 2007 for me...
Jan 2, 2014 for you...
Much LOVE energy being sent from my heart to your yours~~
It all sounds perfectly normal to me, unfortunately for us both! I have to do the same thing and try not to think about Jackson because I start to get nauseaous when i do. I know that will pass, but it\'s so hard now. I hope some day going to John Robert\'s grave will bring you peace instead of more pain. Love, Laura
You are doing your best and that is enough for now, more than enough. There are no \"shoulds\" on this path so only do what feels healing and brings you some comfort.
Understanding, caring and knowing how deeply loved and sorely missed your James Robert is.
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
We are in the same boat you and I. This is a terrible journey for sure without our children. Hoping that John Robert will send you a sign to help your healing. Jennifer and Marissa are with me always. We will be together again. Sending you vibes of healing/. xoxoxo
Thank you all for your kind words and tender thoughts. I really do appreciate them. I know I wouldn\'t have made it through this tough time without your help
I d o not have a grave to visit. Mike was creamated. It was 4 1/2 yrs before I brought his urn home to me. Tara had it when she remarried it was time for Mike to come home to Mom & Dad. It is now peaceful to see his urn I can yell at him anytime
Your process is your process nothing is graded. No one can right a book on how to grieve, it is so individual. Just talk to John Robert as if he was sitting next to you. His heart will listen and your heart may hear an answer
Tight Hugs Penny
Going to the cemetery and finding MY child\'s name on apiece of granite is the most awful thing.. I dropped the first time.. I can go now and be peaceful.
Hugs, MaryLou