Nikki2022

Activity

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  My Own Worst Enemy

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 04/01/2022

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  My mind feels broken. Like the shattered glass top of a table that has fallen to the floor. You try and gather up the pieces to fit them back in place like a puzzle but you can't solve it. All of these fragmented pieces make you're thinking process a little backwards. You do things backwards. You forget everything like what day it is what month it is upcoming dates and appointments, your job. It's not easily fixed with medication and the headaches are pronounced, like sharp pains in your head....

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 04/01/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion So, no one is here right now?.

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/29/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion Hell on Loop.

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/29/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion Hell on Loop.

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Hell on Loop

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Last Reply: SunCloudJD 03/30/2022

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  So what is this feeling? When you're thinking clearly but still do not care! My employer doesn't want me to return to work until I get a letter from a doctor that says I can handle the stress and return to work. My boss doesn't want to lose me as an employee and I appreciate that but I feel as though once I go back nothing is going to be resolved.  Nothing is going to change. What is there to look forward to? I get bogged down at work again deal with the kids at home and fight to maintain some...

• Depression
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/26/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion When it rains it pours.

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  Not Feeling Okay

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/26/2022

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  I don't feel so good. I'm nauseaus and sick to my stomach. I want to get out of the house but it's after one in the morning. I'm shaky and my nerves are on edge. I know this feeling and haven't felt it in a while, but I know it brings nothing good. I'm irritable and snappy and I want to fight.I watched a show earlier today that I think was a trigger for me. It was on human trafficking. I didn't realize it was so rampid and Ontario was a hub. They went into detail. It was horrible. Young girls...

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/23/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion Mood of greatness!.

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/23/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion Mood of greatness!.

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/23/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion Mood of greatness!.

• Bipolar Disorder
  

  Mood of greatness!

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Last Reply: acuriousfish 03/24/2022

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  Feeling fantastic for the last two days which is odd because three days ago I wanted to have myself committed! The ironic part of feeling great is boredom. When you're depressed you cannot handle what little you have to do. When you're feeling fantastic you need a project or multiple projects to do. Then once you've committed to doing something and you're low again you feel like a jackass because you back out. It makes it difficult to committ to anything.  I committed myself to hanging out...

• Anxiety
  

  Discussion Comment

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/23/2022

  Nikki2022 commented on the discussion Anyone else?.

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  Lovin It

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/22/2022

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  I woke up this morning feeling fantastic and my head was clear. What a difference today has been! I have been eating ALL day and felt energetic enough to run a marathon! Its been a long time since I've felt this way! This is what it feels like to be able to think and speak with clarity! To be able to actually function! If I'm feeling this way tomorrow too I'm going back to work for Thursday and Friday. I hope this feeling sticks around! Not a tear drop today! No anxiety! No worries! No...

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  So pissed

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/20/2022

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  My husband started the day today explaining how non affectionate I am and how I just push him away. He says it's nothing that I've said it's in my behaviour and how I avoid him. I don't avoid him. He spends his time in the garage.  He's a garage person. I enjoy being in my calm atmosphere. I read I write I watch tv I listen to music and I hang out with the kids. My oldest is usually in his room playing video games. I don't like it when he points out how introverted I am.  I don't like the...

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  Ups and downs

  Posted by: Nikki2022

  Posted: 03/20/2022

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  I don't understand these ups and downs.  How I can be so alive at night but so dead during the day. I find hope in planning for the future but it's difficult to do when your partner in life isn't on the same page. My discussions on retirement with my spouse seems to be a trigger for his insecurities. After 15 years he's really brought to light that we do not have the same interests or goals.  As a matter of fact I don't recall ever hearing him set any goals. He lives in the moment which is...