SheMuse
Status:
About Me
Hi. I'm new and I'm here because I need education and support. I was diagnosed with bipolar II three years ago when I was 50. No one handed me a manual. When I think I'm doing good, I'm so wrong. Yes, I see a therapist and I take medication too. I lost control of myself a few days ago and I still can't believe it happened. End result = the person I had the episode with made me feel like a freak and they don't want anything to do with me because of it. That, I cannot take. It's breaking my heart. And it wasn't their fault. All of it was me and I can see that now that it's over. Now I'm afraid. I'm afraid no one will ever love me, want to be with me, want to be my friend, etc. I feel like I'm damaged and I should protect people from it. I feel extremely vulnerable. I'm a prime target for people who take advantage. It's happened too many times. I feel I need to protect myself now. I left a message for my prescriber today and said I need something else. When I look back, that medicine never made me stable. It just made it easier for me to convince people that I'm OK. I'm not OK.
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