texas_hippy's Posts | DailyStrength

Status: i'm totally isolated where i live in texas. i need female companionship but can't even find a woman around here. my marriage ended cuz of my "wife's" psychological disorder. the original is there but my "wife" is confined within her disordered brain.

Mood: Horrible

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what is worse than depression?

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Let me tell you, as I see it: what is worse than depression?What is worse than waking up every day to the same hole in one's chest, where the heart used to be?What is worse than having good memories come into your head, especially when you don't...
if it isn't memories of my "wife" it's Social Secu

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I have written at least five letters to her, unsure which one will get them: will it be my-wife or will it be the protector? I guess, in a way it does not matter which one gets them, but if it is the protector, I'm pretty sure they end up in the...
why does it seem there's ALWAYS one of these...

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I haven't been that much angry lately. Well right now, that's not a really good thing for me. I "control" my anger, I use it to fuel my energy to do the things I need to do. It is a specific anger, the source, that is...not a generalized one. I...
a "luxury" of schizophrenia (etc)

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Today is my step-daughter's birthday. Since the fall of my world, and her's of course, she's been living in L.A. She finally wrote me back on FB, tells me she finally spoke with her "mother"...I guess somehow the protector let her go, hopefully...
been rethinking this, need info

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too long of a story to retell, it's all here anyway.been doing some rethink on this. i based a lot on what my 'wife" (alter?) said one night. i had asked her to let me have my wife back, and made some reference to who was oroginal and who was...
well that's a push back to zero

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A couple weeks ago I met a lovely lady. We agreed to go at her pace since she has some trust issues. Hell, doesn't everybody have some kind of issues? I'm so tired of hearing that damn word. It's like when I was doing alcohol/drug councelling and...
"sucker" tattoo --- communication breakdown...

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No, really, I don't have a tattoo like that on my forehead. I think it's "looser" instead.Why is it, some people look at you and see what they want, or see what they think they see. Yeah, it's all the same shit as that old saying, which is older...
today was better

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For first time in weeks, there was no anger inside my head...just a horrible migraine. I have had chronic migraines for years, and when I am hit by a bad one, it can last for two or three days. I always try to just mush out when I get one.I never...
crap...now that won't do

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I finally got out yesterday. Had to go to Walmart to take care of some stuff, but I also had to sit around in the heat with my niece's BF doing work for him, which I didn't get paid for.Walking around Walmart was a chore. It wasn't like I was...
impossible

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This is impossible. This is the hardest time in my life, starting mid-June 2019. Way too much backstory to this whole scenario. I'm not even going to attempt to explain what went on Jan 2019 to that day my "wife" got rid of me. Since then she's...
anxiety/depression is my life

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I figured out something. An abrupt memory, bad or good, comes into my head about my wife...and I dive into anxiety, depression and anger. The more this happens, the more I am all three at the same time. I'd say at least three days a week this...
when it is least expected

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Today wasn't really bad. As most days start out, I guess. I often wake up with a sour outlook like: "Oh shit, another day, all I want to do is sleep forever..." but it never happens. I have sleep issues as is, chronic insomnia, I guess from harsh...
beware of these two sites

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I have been widowed for a year. I also live kind of off-the-grid, not by choice, believe me. It is totally hard to find anybody, much less a woman around this area to conversate with...and much less get to know very well. I hate to be alone, I...
if...

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One bad day after another. They all pile atop each other, weighint me down.I am not sure how long I can exist like this: in emotional pain, severe depression and being this alone.There has been only two women I have been totally in love with. Yes I...
this anger...i cannot get rid of

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too many etc issues to explain, i am in other groups and have written a bit about the major issues. i have been away from this site for too long, i have adult add, social anxiety and severe depression. moved back to homestate of texas which hasn't...