I figured out something. An abrupt memory, bad or good, comes into my head about my wife...and I dive into anxiety, depression and anger. The more this happens, the more I am all three at the same time. I'd say at least three days a week this happens and has been more lately than before.
Already had anxiety before what happened took place. It had gone into social anxiety which only affected me at certain times. The depression didn't start until around July, when it sunk into my noggin what had happened to my wife...and what happened to me. Then anger came. Anger because of how she changed when her schizophrenia went full-tilt, anger because of what she did to my wife (her alter), and what she did to me, and our life. Anger because I never saw it coming. Anger because she was never diagnosed and I'm not sure if she is even now. Her brain disorder first showed up even before I knew her. Then it went dormant for 14 years...our fearful environtment and her meth addiction came back and then, there it was...her weird world mixed with reality.
ALL that angers me while at the same time depresses me and then, naturally I slide into anxiety. It gets so bad, it feels like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. I wouldn't mind that at all, but I know it would hurt. Since June (2019) I have had two really bad panic attacks which mimic a heart attack...and once, I had what the ER doctor called a "minor heart attack" itself.
I can't even find my wife...or the original...I don't even know if she still lives where we did. I am not getting any help from that bitch landlady either, they were old friends and of course that bitch believes EVERY word "the original" says because she is too damn stupid to understand my wife has S C H I Z O P H R E N I A...or something like DID or a combination. The bitch is so freakin' stupid and totally uneducated in anything like psychology or even has a most basic understanding. I can tell the difference between the original and my wife, but that bitch couldn't tell the difference between her butthole and a hole in the ground!
This anxiety is tolerable, well not maybe, especially when it screws with my heart. It is the combination of the three: anxiety, depression and anger. THAT is the killer and THAT is why I really don't give a rat's ass if...one day I decide enough is enough and check out.
Hello, my name is Sharon and I have narcolepsy. I am trying to figure out if forgetfullness and difficulty with communication affects other peolpe with narcolepsy. My husband tells me I am terrible with communication.
I woke up this morning and I was so scared of I know not what. Palpitations, stomach churning usual things, except that for the 1st time ever my lip was quivering. I managed to get moving and did some housework, now its the afternoon, although my lip isnt quivering I am nervy to say the least of it. The day is dragging on and on.