Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I figured out something. An abrupt memory, bad or good, comes into my head about my wife...and I dive into anxiety, depression and anger. The more this happens, the more I am all three at the same time. I'd say at least three days a week this happens and has been more lately than before.
Already had anxiety before what happened took place. It had gone into social anxiety which only affected me at certain times. The depression didn't start until around July, when it sunk into my noggin what had happened to my wife...and what happened to me. Then anger came. Anger because of how she changed when her schizophrenia went full-tilt, anger because of what she did to my wife (her alter), and what she did to me, and our life. Anger because I never saw it coming. Anger because she was never diagnosed and I'm not sure if she is even now. Her brain disorder first showed up even before I knew her. Then it went dormant for 14 years...our fearful environtment and her meth addiction came back and then, there it was...her weird world mixed with reality.
ALL that angers me while at the same time depresses me and then, naturally I slide into anxiety. It gets so bad, it feels like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. I wouldn't mind that at all, but I know it would hurt. Since June (2019) I have had two really bad panic attacks which mimic a heart attack...and once, I had what the ER doctor called a "minor heart attack" itself.
I can't even find my wife...or the original...I don't even know if she still lives where we did. I am not getting any help from that bitch landlady either, they were old friends and of course that bitch believes EVERY word "the original" says because she is too damn stupid to understand my wife has S C H I Z O P H R E N I A...or something like DID or a combination. The bitch is so freakin' stupid and totally uneducated in anything like psychology or even has a most basic understanding. I can tell the difference between the original and my wife, but that bitch couldn't tell the difference between her butthole and a hole in the ground!
This anxiety is tolerable, well not maybe, especially when it screws with my heart. It is the combination of the three: anxiety, depression and anger. THAT is the killer and THAT is why I really don't give a rat's ass if...one day I decide enough is enough and check out.
-
My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
-
I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
And it sounds like you have a shitload of things to be angry about. Vent it out, good buddy. Listening. . .
Gentle support while you sort.
i blew up at my niece's boyfriend yesterday, i was talking to her about a certain issue of mine and my sister's past, how we were "found" and adopted. i made a remark about the Methodist minister who was my dad's best friend and how he helped us "get found."
idiot bf made a totally asshole statement, out of context, based on his own bad personal background, as if ALL ministers were evil or committed bad deeds.
i blew up at him, said a choice statement and told him off. it totally added to my already present anger...just another log to put on the fire.
i do so hate it when somebody makes a generalized remark about what they don't know shit about...especially when it involves me.
i didn't want to, but i apologized to this person, and got none back from him for his preposterous and strictly generalized, narrow-downed to himself bullshit.
there's one thing NOBODY should do...call my father, or the minister a liar or something bad. those guys were the most honorable men i have ever known. i would defend them unto death for i know they are who they say they are and what they did in their lives was for the good of other people.
i often wish my dad was still here, even though he would be very old, he would also be very wise.