theblackrose
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- I've always been so tempted to run away, even have a few times. I figure that if I can't die and leave the problems behind then I should run away from the source. It's hard to live under the same roof of one of the people that fucked up your life...
- It's pretty obvious that my mom won't ever accept me for who I am. I'm sick of her avoiding everything. She acts like I'm some alien, she won't accept that I hate boys. I will never like guys! Shes pushing me, all she does is hint and push at me...
- Sometimes we may find triggers in things that are unavoidable. Yesterday these boys in my math class started talking about playgrounds and recess and asked people if they liked recess. I hated recess. When I was 7 I was raped behind a bathroom at a...
- Hi, website thingy... This is Ella. My other part said that this site has been helping her get over shit, and I'm glad... Anyways. So I've spent most my life watching Bailey ( my other part) go through pure hell. Always there standing on the...
- It's around the time I was to have my baby... I keep having terrible pains and they get so bad I throw up. Can't eat, can't sleep. This always happens around this time... But the pain is even worse this year. It's hurts so much I can't even walk. I...
- Over the past 2 months I've learned so much about myself. I learned I'm more then one kind of crazy and Im finding it hard to accept. I feels like I'm being crushed, it's so much. Life has certainly not been a piece of cake, and I'm learning I'm...
- Ella is itching to break out and I've been trying so hard to keep her in. I want to let her out after Valentines Day. Even after I let her out I'm worried she might cause trouble. She does what she wants when she wants to. I'm worried she might...
- Ever since I was raped oh so long ago and lost a baby in the process.... I've had Physical pain... I was raped by a close relative, someone I trusted. February is when I was to have the baby, but it died. I was only 7 at the time. I was raped in...
- I haven't been diagnosed, but I do have alternates... I do have Bipolar and I always noticed that when I go into a different phase I also switch personalities. Like when i go into my manic phase I switch to Ella, or when I get irritated or angry I...
- People around me keep dying or getting hurt! I can't stand watching them disappear. People are going and leaving me behind. I'm sick of explaining myself and hurting people and watching as they die... People that thought they knew me don't really...
- Agh. I have to go see my therapist tomorrow. I wasn't able to keep our no cutting contract and I'm so scared about what she will do. She's gonna want to see them. I am sooo fucked. I'm having anxiety and I feel like doing something. I hit my manic...
- My mom won't accept me for who I am. She won't accept the fact that I'm a lesbian and damn proud of it.... She avoids it. I don't know if I should just leave it or confront her more on it. I want her to understand for once.
- Ever since Being diagnosed with Bipolar and taking my meds I just don't know who I am anymore. I know the only way I can really feel ok is by taking my meds. My meds control everything now. It doesn't feel right. I want to feel like I used to but...
- Well..... I just can't stop... After I got out of the hospital things were great. Then my whole family got mad at me for telling some people the truth about me... I was locked in my room and I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone (big mistake on their...
- Things have REALLY not been good... AT ALL. On Saturday someone I knew that I had just talked to committed suicide... Wish I was nicer to them. On Sunday all hell broke loose! I was acting up and instead of taking care of the problem, I'm locked in...