theblackrose
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Ok
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- The abuse at school and the other maddness within my life is finally taking it's toll. No I don't feel like cutting. I want to cry. Even right now I'm on the verge of tears but I just can't force it out. I haven't cried since I got out of the...
- My therapist has been talking to me about my father alot. She asks if I ever think about bringing him into my therapy so she can " fix" things. I keep telling her no, I don't want to have any contact with my dad. I keep thinking. He's 56 this year....
- There is a DV shelter only a few minutes away from my house!! Just have to make a few more plans and then gonna make a break for it!!!! Freedom!!! Freedom!! :)
- .... To tell ya the truth I'm desperate! Our host won't stop cutting. She cut up our entire body for god sake! She won't eat... Won't sleep.... I don't know what to do anymore. We are growing weak. We are dying! I've tried everything to stop it!...
- Yesterday I cut up my arm.... Today I cut the whole rest of my body.....but I still want more. I don't want to stop and I don't thing I will stop. It feels so relieving. I feel so calm. I don't wanna loss this feeling. I've missed it so much. It's...
- Ever since a few days ago I've felt very numb. I had my worst nightmare yet.************* Trigger Warning*****************I was at school and I was called up to the office. Waiting for me there was my cousin. I ran out of the office as fast as I...
- I'm at church. My mom had us sit right next to my current abuser... I'm paralyzed! I'm just waiting for him to notice me, stare at me with his evil eyes. I'm waiting for him to grab at me and laugh. I'm just waiting. I'm trapped! I want to...
- I've tried everything CPS, hotlines, running away... Everything. None of it works. I've been betrayed and abandoned. I'm stuck in Hell whether I like it or not. I have no voice. I've lost my strength. I'm to sick, to weak to try any more. Ive lost...
- I've been living at my sisters since Saturday and I think after easedroping I've learned that she is handing me back over to my mom and dad. Lately I've been cleaning my sisters house to make myself useful and to earn a little extra money. I haven't...
- What are your goals in life. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? Are you going to college? Married with kids? What do you what to do with your life? How do you want to get better? How will it feel to get better? How do you want to feel?...
- I've been living with my sister since Saturday. Finally escaped from Hell. But still my mom hasn't been helping things. She said some insulting things to me and my others. She made me feel worthless and she said that I'm taking things way to...
- There is another alter that has been lurking... His name is Grim. He is manipulative, greedy and abusive just like my cousin... He's threatening me, telling me terrible things but he's no human. He's a wolf, a big black dog. He growls and roars at...
- Umm. So I just Found out that two of my alts have chemistry. Is it possible for 2 alts to fall in love with eachother?
- Tonight is a bad night. Flashbacks, one after the other. Each one tearing me apart. Each memory of hell, each flash of reality. This is fucking killing me. It's a slow death and one I can't escape. I can't speed it up, can't slow it down. The...
- My dad is triggering me so badly right now. Flashbacks and nightmares, racing thoughs. My head is spinning a million a minute. Losing control. I've tried everything and I can't hold back any longer. I'm sorry I'm just losing it! Can't stop it. I...