Jimbobaronio
Status: Still wonder if I will ever be in control of me...
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- She does not get it.I am not able to function. I was fired from the last three jobs I tried. Before all of this I was a corporate executive making 6 figures.Dang this sucks.Losing every material possession. Living in a friends basement.Riding the...
- If I have posted on this topic please forgive. It appears my memory is going as well as my body as well as my sanity.My Therapist and I discussed a topic once about kid swapping parties. It was all the rage in the 60's and 70's.It is similar to...
- I find myself so messed up I can not even take care of myself.I have lost my house, car, most of my stuff. I have no job - been fired from the last three I tried.My anxiety is so bad I can barely function.My dad and his friends had the 'time of...
- Trigger alert---Did anyone else get weird praise as a child?Terms of endearment around my family "You Dumb Shit"Also I remember at around four years old I heard my dad's friend Nichael say this to my dad as I was busy on Nichael's penis: "You're...
- I know I have a problem. Some days I waste hours - like 4 or 5 hours - watching porn and wanking.Dang I even find that it takes forever to finish now.I have done the "this is enough" and vow to never go back, so many times.Then in a day or two I am...
- It took a long time for me to start opening up. Mostly because I thought I was crazy and none of "it" could be real.Now I can barely talk about much of it.So I wrote a letter. Then I rewrote it. Then rewrote it again. I talked about it before on...
- I told my mom a couple months ago I have PTSD. I told her I was having trouble functioning and related it to a longtime friend of hers that was in a war and had PTSD. He was a basket case a lot.She was like, "oh, do you need help with the car...
- I have managed to completely run out of moneyno gasthe storage will be auctioned soon if I don't payhomelessgot food stamps of $200 a month so I am not starvingTrying to find work - but I have no focus and can't keep my mind on anything more than a...
- dang...It gets frustrating that I fall a sleep and within minutes I jolt awake.Look at the clock and it has been like 5 or 10 minutes.then a few hours and bam up at 3 o'clock mind racing.I rarely remember dreams so I am not sure if I am dreaming of...
- Okay really not everything. But I feel like it.Anyone else have more than an addiction or two.With PTSD it is common but I feel like my mind is stuck and I can't get out of the loops.Of course the usual alcohol. I get my desire for that.Drugs:...
- Uggggg...."Let it Go"I heard it again. My first thought is always, "FUCK YOU"Don't tell me what to do.Then I wonder why am I so freaking angry about someone saying "Let it Go"I almost explode.If I could let it go I would. OR Would I?Maybe I want...
- ****************Trigger warning **********************http://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/2009/12/03/mother-beat-her-childs-genitals-when-she-couldnt-orgasm/I read the article pretty much in a numb state. I did not have any feelings about it nor did...
- He donated sperm to my mom...Created me so he could donate his sperm to his son too. Too bad he is dead. I want to kill him.
- Fuck!Today, yesterday, and most days suck.My mind is a fog of shitty memories and no motivation.For the first time in my life I thought about a bottle of pills. I have never felt that way before.I am so anxiety and panic filled I can barely...
- I have been diagnosed with PTSD from childhood torture and rape by multiple people my dad shared me with.Now 40 years later I am scared to even tell my mom.Mostly because my expectation is she will not believe it or just discount it and tell me 'we...