Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
It took a long time for me to start opening up. Mostly because I thought I was crazy and none of "it" could be real.
Now I can barely talk about much of it.
So I wrote a letter. Then I rewrote it. Then rewrote it again.
I talked about it before on this board and someone told me that it would never be perfect and to send the letter.
So the final copy is done. I posted it in my journal and I have printed out all the copies.
I put the copies in envelops and started addressing them.
Now the anxiety hits and I am second guessing myself.
My mind is racing and I waffle between "just one more rewrite" and "just send the damn thing already"
Then the little voices scream at me, "what will people think?"
GAWD this is crazy.
I am just going to send the letters. Or am I?
My legs are weak and my mind is racing.
Now I have to pee.
More to come.
Now I can barely talk about much of it.
So I wrote a letter. Then I rewrote it. Then rewrote it again.
I talked about it before on this board and someone told me that it would never be perfect and to send the letter.
So the final copy is done. I posted it in my journal and I have printed out all the copies.
I put the copies in envelops and started addressing them.
Now the anxiety hits and I am second guessing myself.
My mind is racing and I waffle between "just one more rewrite" and "just send the damn thing already"
Then the little voices scream at me, "what will people think?"
GAWD this is crazy.
I am just going to send the letters. Or am I?
My legs are weak and my mind is racing.
Now I have to pee.
More to come.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
I don't think I could ever send this, personally. For me, it would seem like I'm passing some role responsibility on to my loved ones with this information. I'm sure that's not at all what you're doing, but that's how I would see it. I'm going to tell a kid in my family that I have a real problem, so now I would expect this child to adjust their image of me and possibly their behavior toward me.
PTSD also leaves a HUGE can of worms exposed. They'll want to know why. What happened. Is that something you really want to share? I'm sure some may say that's a healthy step, and I don't claim to be healthy, but I just don't need to burden young lives with very ugly family history. Perhaps I might just tell them I'm clinically depressed so they can at least understand why functioning in society is a very rough challenge.
I don't know. I guess my question is this...what do you want the outcome to be with this letter?
" you have to know I love you and appreciate the support you give me. I am now realizing I need to start working on this with a therapist. To deal with things and learn how to cope. So I can be more fully present for me and you." example only.
DAD
Peers and elders are fair game, though. Most often I get no response, but sometimes it even helps. For sure I think it helps me organize and vent my own confusions.
Good morning J.
no matter your decision, inevitably i wish you peace.