Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
If I have posted on this topic please forgive. It appears my memory is going as well as my body as well as my sanity.
My Therapist and I discussed a topic once about kid swapping parties. It was all the rage in the 60's and 70's.
It is similar to wife swapping parties. You and your spouse show up to a party and swap partners for a little sexual escapade.
With my dad (he an mom did the wife swapping too) he would take my sister and me to kid swapping parties.
We go to the party and have sex with some unknown person. Well after a while they were not always unknown.
I remember a couple of them now.
This is haunting me again. It comes and goes. Some days I don't think about it and others I wonder WTF?
Some days I can not get out of bed because I am so weak and have not energy. More of those days of late.
My doctor found I was extremely deficient in vitamin D. So I have been taking 50k units once a week for the last couple of months. I have not noticed any difference.
All the abuse stopped when I was nine. Only because he died.
I have said this before. Glad he died. That sucks though. Being happy your father died. Dads are supposed to be gods in their children's eyes. Mine was Lucifer. As analogies go anyway as I am not of any faith.
My Therapist and I discussed a topic once about kid swapping parties. It was all the rage in the 60's and 70's.
It is similar to wife swapping parties. You and your spouse show up to a party and swap partners for a little sexual escapade.
With my dad (he an mom did the wife swapping too) he would take my sister and me to kid swapping parties.
We go to the party and have sex with some unknown person. Well after a while they were not always unknown.
I remember a couple of them now.
This is haunting me again. It comes and goes. Some days I don't think about it and others I wonder WTF?
Some days I can not get out of bed because I am so weak and have not energy. More of those days of late.
My doctor found I was extremely deficient in vitamin D. So I have been taking 50k units once a week for the last couple of months. I have not noticed any difference.
All the abuse stopped when I was nine. Only because he died.
I have said this before. Glad he died. That sucks though. Being happy your father died. Dads are supposed to be gods in their children's eyes. Mine was Lucifer. As analogies go anyway as I am not of any faith.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I am having vague memory intimations that I was taken to such a party by my dad.
If those intimations are right my sexual alter was the hit of that party, and on the drive home he beat me/us up because of it.
I've only got little glimpses of that so far but thinking about what I've got and typing this is making me breathe in tiny, shallow little gasps.
The vitamin D caught my eye. I also have had that problem. B12 has been critical too in combination with D. Have you tried B12 injections?
I BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE INSTANCES WHERE THE DEATH OF A PERSON BRINGS PEACE TO OTHERS, LOVE **
I come here and read a lot of posts. Then I find strength to post.
Then I go away for a while and come back.
I forgot I posted this. Fuck I hate PTSD and my brain's inability to remember anything.
Thanks for the comments.
hylierandom the way you describe the memory intimations is exactly how my memories came back. A little hint of something and a lot of feeling in my body and then more visual memory. Then BAM one day I am on the ground shaking and crying as the flashback flood comes back.
It sucks I do say. It sucks.
Donnawanda: child murder is a good choice of words. I was not present at the parites, as I was killed off and an alter took my place.
In my early days of healing, i only got those "glimpses" too and yes many BAMS. One happened when I was doing deliveries and |i drove about 70 miles in the wrong direction and didn't even realize it. That really messed me up. I didn't know where I was and didn't remember anything after my last stop.
At least now I can say i'm at peace with most of those memories or at least have negotiated a cease fire in that damn war.
Even that PTSD has become more manageable, yet I have my days.
You're doing well and keep pushing forward. I speak from experience and there IS some peace that awaits...