Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Okay really not everything. But I feel like it.
Anyone else have more than an addiction or two.
With PTSD it is common but I feel like my mind is stuck and I can't get out of the loops.
Of course the usual alcohol. I get my desire for that.
Drugs: well weed really is the only one. I understand the mind altering escape from reality there too.
Porn: I read the Porn addiction board too.
And there are more.
I can't do 12 step programs because the Higher Power factor grates on my nerves and I can't accept that as part of a recovery program.
Of course cold turkey is not working.
I can go a few days before one of the addictions litterally takes over and I am just along for the ride. I feel out of control at that point. More like I am watching it and not participating. It is weird.
I am sure that my cronic dissociation doesn't help either. Staying in the present is a struggle. I am zoned out most of the time.
Uuuuuggggg.....
Daddy oh daddy why did you fuck me so much.
Anyone else have more than an addiction or two.
With PTSD it is common but I feel like my mind is stuck and I can't get out of the loops.
Of course the usual alcohol. I get my desire for that.
Drugs: well weed really is the only one. I understand the mind altering escape from reality there too.
Porn: I read the Porn addiction board too.
And there are more.
I can't do 12 step programs because the Higher Power factor grates on my nerves and I can't accept that as part of a recovery program.
Of course cold turkey is not working.
I can go a few days before one of the addictions litterally takes over and I am just along for the ride. I feel out of control at that point. More like I am watching it and not participating. It is weird.
I am sure that my cronic dissociation doesn't help either. Staying in the present is a struggle. I am zoned out most of the time.
Uuuuuggggg.....
Daddy oh daddy why did you fuck me so much.
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
I understand the whole HP reluctance in the 12 step...keep in mind however, that you get to choose a HP of your own choice and can be totally non religious. For example, you could make your HP ....REALITY...and simply learn to cooperate with that.
Wish you the best !
I realized that when I was pregnant, I was able to do it for 9 months, so why not take the mindset, "I have to for the sake of my unborn child" and apply it to ME!?!?!
For the sake of my overall sanity, I choose on a daily basis to not drink, smoke, etc and only make healthy choices for my overall peace of mind.
The HP factor can also be interpreted as something out of your control. I hand this over to whatever forces have gotten me this far... Or, "I put this sh*t in a box" instead of it taking me over. I also get the "God, grant me the serenity" part a little too invasive to those who don't have that piece. How about, "Dude, grant me..." and think of The Big Lebowski... ; )
The only rule is that there are no rules. Whatever finds you peace on a daily basis.
But I've been there, my friend.
Muji
Losing that feeling of truly feeling excited about something is really shitty.
As of yet, nothing has replaced it. I'm more present, and I work harder, and I can now maintain my obligations. Oh and I've taken up with a camera. Big damn deal.
We need something to live for,, we need meaning in our lives. The thing about addictions is that they become what we live for, and mostly it is a pleasure, endorphin thing. If we take them away when that's all we have - if I have lived my day centered around whatever my high is, a big orgasm, the perfect high, and I just take it away and leave an empty spot there.. I just get miserable.
The thing about the 12 Steps is that we do find a better meaning for our lives, better goals and so we can change direction and feel like we have something better, not just an empty place where the orgasm, or high was.
I tend to dissociate too, and sometimes watch myself just run through one of my addictive things,, go through the motions. And staying in the present is a struggle for me too. Though one time I was walking home in the month of May and practiced staying in the present and was looking at the flowers, and the scent in the air, and that time it was quite rewarding.
Especially guys with any variant of the name, "James." It is, hands down, the most common name in my life and every single one of them is at least as contrary as I am.
Trying to kick the habit...
Or anything I do even good things.I over do everything to where I run myself down doing it.
Like i'm trying re-start my children clothing business.Is a double edge sword cause I get so into it, I don't sleep, its got to be perfect, I want to do everything in one day.....A week of that and i'm really drained ....I used to be addicted to expercise too also to the point of running my immune system down.
I kind of turn everything into an addiction..