mahalarose

Canoe polo. Bindged. Solway. Driving. Suicide. Mother in my fucking room. Can't cry. What a fat bitch I am. What a skeleton she is.

I HONESTLY JUST WANT SOME FUCKING GLUE.  I know its bad but that doesn't take it away.

I am sick to my stomach with this world. nothing is right abotu me and nothing is right about anything.Dont ask me to wake up and face another day cos I dont fuckin want to. I'd rather drown in a...

I have cradle of filth blasting me to what should be deafness by now. Lying on my bedroom floor. I flipped out so I started to clean my room and now ive finished my room, finished my excersizes I...

oh and I have been glue free for 7 days now..except last night I opened a thing of twink and saw some aliens or soemthing..and Ive been using petrol except ifI use to much it makes me spew which I...

My sister asked me to come into wellington to go see her so I said yeah saturday after work. then I got a txt just before (tomorow is saturday) saying that plans had come up that she couldnt get out...

Tonight's question is why am I still here? why am I still alive..one reason is because I dont have any fucking pills. Second reason is actuslly im not writing that in here. eaten ice cream today....

the road starts here. I didn't expect it to go away overnight..I felt like it should do because I've been doing so well. Eaten to much now I feel like a fat complete fuck. Im sorry I had to say it. I...

I have just made an improvement to my life. I had this old victorian like velvet chair that I called grandpa chair. I would sit in that chair with a bag and glue and waste the night away. I have...

I close my eyes tightand retreat within my mindno sight it would seem to be safea never ending game of tagI don't want to playthis isn't the playground nowpleading for something to make senseso I may...

words can't repeat, mistakes can't be renewed. I wish I knew what to write. So weak. yet enraged in this anger. consuming me. I need a way to die. Thigh covered by this anger. throat blocked up with...

so what if I pull away from everyone? what does it fuckin matter. everyone is just doing it back to me. Ican do whatever the fuck I want. I want to chop off my hand. I want Satan to come and gobble...

I wish I could say goodbye life didnt need you anyway. didnt need God, letters or words. Didnt need a car, didnt need a job or have friends. AND I FUCKING DONT NEED ANY SLEEP SO THERES NOT POINT...

If things were so simple as having ice cream for breakfast like I am now..Its 6.28 am and I go to work soon until 2 and for then I should be fine.When I get home I am going to go to my room and...

Its 8.25..I went for a run an hour ago..I collapsed on the pavement after about half an hour..I totally hate myself for it. For it all. My fitness has gone to nil since I did this glue. I totally am...