Daily Update
Started calorie counting today and went as I feared. I knew if I cut out the unhealthy stuff, I wouldn't be eating enough calories. My goal is 1500-1800 a day. I was just under 1500 today. I'm more counting calories to be sure I get enough and in the right distribution then to make sure I'm cutting back. I know how not to eat brownies, cookies and chocolate! lol :)
sparkpeople.com is great for tracking calories, fitness, carbs proteins etc.
I did my exercise this morning.
I had my last sexual abuse support group meeting tonight. I wasn't quite as silent as last week, lol. I have to decide whether to sign up in the fall or not. The session was informative, but I'm not sure I'm ready to verbally process it all in group yet. I need a place where I can safely have a panic attack in front of people or talk openly about my cutting, and I finally got up the gumption to ask a support group leader about it last week and she told me it would be 'detrimental' to the other members if I had an attack and should remove myself from the room. Fortunately I can keep them under control until I'm alone and had been the ten weeks before. I kept silent about obsessive thoughts of cutting during group too. I never did cut on a Monday night, though, so I was able to control. Anyway, I guess that's not the 'safe place' for what I need right now.
Exhausted, losing concentration, fighting anxiety. Time for bed. Tomorrow is a new day. No plans, will exercise, and eat more!
sparkpeople.com is great for tracking calories, fitness, carbs proteins etc.
I did my exercise this morning.
I had my last sexual abuse support group meeting tonight. I wasn't quite as silent as last week, lol. I have to decide whether to sign up in the fall or not. The session was informative, but I'm not sure I'm ready to verbally process it all in group yet. I need a place where I can safely have a panic attack in front of people or talk openly about my cutting, and I finally got up the gumption to ask a support group leader about it last week and she told me it would be 'detrimental' to the other members if I had an attack and should remove myself from the room. Fortunately I can keep them under control until I'm alone and had been the ten weeks before. I kept silent about obsessive thoughts of cutting during group too. I never did cut on a Monday night, though, so I was able to control. Anyway, I guess that's not the 'safe place' for what I need right now.
Exhausted, losing concentration, fighting anxiety. Time for bed. Tomorrow is a new day. No plans, will exercise, and eat more!
Replies
Find a peer group if you can, your group leader sounds like a lazy douchebag who just didn\'t want to deal with what sounds to me like a very predictable and common phenomenon among abuse survivors.
keep holding on xx
Good luck to you. You are dealing with a lot. I commend you for your courage. Yoga was a permanent way out of maladaptive behaviors for me. I have kept a steady practice for 20 years. You will also find peace if you engage it deeply enough and practice consistently. I look forward to hearing more about your successes.