that's all we can do it take it one step at a time...not easy..ever, but it can be done. when we fail, we get back at it, as one of our other members said, fall seven times get up eight...there it is isn't it? good truthful day to all

Good morning everyone. Asda checking in. Welcome to the new members! The more we have participating in this group discussion, the better. There is strength in numbers.
BTR, I liked what you said about "managing" how others saw you. That hits home with me. I hadn't been able to put it into those words before. That at least sheds some light on one aspect of my lying (one of many). I have to take it day by day, and more importantly for me, moment by moment, resisting the urge (automatic reflex) to "manage" the moment.
You all have a great and truthful holidays. (Wouldn't that be a great gift to our loved ones?)

Hi everybody. Malico here. As far as I know I have only made two very small lies in the last two todays. It's been really nice to be with my family; I haven't seen them in a long time and had forgotten that I never feel the need to impress or cover up the truth to them. So these days with them have been very relaxing and remind me that I'm not completely alone in the world. I even called my new boss back and set the record straight about a lie I had told previously, which was mentally painful in preparation but actually turned out to not be a bigdeal-- maybe it could be this way with all my lies? So things are going well,. In turn, if anybody out there wants somebody to talk to today or tomorrow let me know. You arent alone, we get it and we're your friends and we want you go get better too.

good morning and merry christmas to each and every one...dang, sounds like tiny time sneaked in here. thanks for the offer malico it's appreciated. being with family is sometimes the best thing we can do. with family we are know and (hopefully) loved so there isn't the need to "embellish" to impress.
right now i'm gonna head to the gym and work off some "stress eating" that's been going on.
well folks here's to another day of honesty and the beginning of a good and honest new year.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all; I hope we can all enjoy a day of truthfulness. What a gift that would be to us and to those we love and care about. Yesterday I blurted out one lie before I even had time to think about what I was saying. I was able to immediately correct it, as it was inconsequential, but talk about engaging mouth before brain - it was so automatic.

I have much work ahead of me, but grateful for this group and the opportunity to work on my failings.

Good day everybody. Malico here again wishing everyone a truthful christmas day. Still been doing well, a few times in the last few says I have found myself thinking up an interesting story (read: lie) but then thinking to myself, why would you say that? And being able to stop my myself from saying it. To be honest, I find the completely truthful life tedious.... but I know it will be worth the strengthened relationships I will have.

good luck to everyone today!

a very merry christmas to all and may your new year be truthful and may you have all that you need

Merry Christmas everyone! As my second day being truthful, I believe I may have exaggerated yesterday as I was out Christmas shopping (of course at the last minute). Although my area of town is quite small, I did exaggerate about the traffic and amount of people that were causing me to run late for a gathering. It did truthfully take me about 50 minutes to park at the grocery store, get in to buy four items and get out, I told my host that town was "too busy to go back to again and I was in the store for over an hour." It is weird because I realized that I was saying this, and it was not too far off of what I really experienced, but it was not exactly the truth. I had so much on my mind that it seemed easier to say "over an hour" rather than an exact 50 minutes to get a point across. Anyway, this is what I know I said. So far today, so good! I hope everyone has a very Merry and truthful Christmas..I will have to think about what comes out of my mouth as the day goes on and I will be attending a couple different Christmas gatherings coming later this afternoon and evening. Cheers all!

Good morning and Happy Holidays to All! I've been out of touch with the group for a few days, so I want to welcome all the new members. As others have said, there is strength in numbers and just knowing that we’re not alone in our struggle is wonderful. Whether reading the wise things others have said or just to say that I’ve been lie free for another day, this group has been the best thing that has happened to my life for quite a long time. It may be that joining this group has helped to save my marriage and bring my life out of chaos. That said, the holiday prep has been extremely busy/stressful and tiring, and those have been major triggers. So far, I’ve been honest for the past several days and am continuing today which means that I’ve been able to avoid reacting to these two triggers. Each day, moment by moment I need to slow down and think carefully about what I am going to say before I speak. Before I sign off I want especially to express gratitude to medicx and Asda. Both of you were there when I was at rock bottom. Without your support, things might be very different for me right now. I wish all joyous and truthful holidays.

hey everyone, i'm glad that everything is going well with everyone...bng, glad i could be of some use to you. i find myself having to stop and think more and more these days as well. the holidays have always been stressful for me so i'm glad that i could be of some help, to anyone...i guess it helps me to say these things out loud and hearing other folk say out loud ( write) that they also have the same issues, makes it easier for me to deal with my own..

great holidays for everyone.

Happy holidays all! I am happy to have been truthful for another 24 hours and really happy to hear you are all doing good this day. Thanks BNG, but you have been there just as much for us as we have been for you. That's what this little group is all about. It is your and everyone's comments that make me realize daily that I do not have to lie, that I have a choice. Something that my mind never let me know In the past. I am grateful for that. Have a great and truthful week.

I made it through Christmas without any lies - I was able to slow down and be thoughtful. This morning I confessed to my wife something I had been carrying around as a lie for literally decades. A fabrication that I nurtured and promoted because I wanted people to think of me in a certain way. Releasing that to my spouse was humbling and she reminded me she is not the only person I affected. I have lots of amends to make.

I hope y'all have a truthful day.

Good morning All! I was lie free last night and so far today I still am. As your spouse mentioned, BTR, there is not just a single person who is affected by lying. When I’ve lied it has had repercussions that either I didn’t notice right away or didn’t immediately care about. Both of these were due to my not thinking about how my actions impact others. I was really thinking only about the short term and covering. My behavior had consequences that went beyond just the person to whom I was lying. I’m a pretty visual person so I’ve been imagining my behavior as a stone tossed into a pond. The ripples interact with anything in that pond. Stretching the analogy, strong enough ripples bounce back. One unintended consequence was that by taking the easy way out and lying about what I had or had not done, I was creating (or maintaining) a false front about myself. The consequence being that I put in a bunch of work to maintain a façade when working on being a better person (actually being true to myself) would have given a much more substantive result. Anyway, slowing down and really thinking about my answer, how it impacts helps me to be truthful. I hope you all have a wonderful, honest day!

Hey everyone, malico here again, truthful so far today which will make it my fourth day, my longest streak in months probably. I hope everyone is winning their fight too and I just want to take a second to thank you all, getting notices in my inbox with stories like mine and the inspiring words people have fo offer really keeps me centered and I am glad to have found a small community where I dont fear being 100 percent honest. That being said, today is going to be a very stressful day because I will see a bunch of family I havent seen in a longtime and will feel tempted to paint them a pictureof myself that fulfills their expectations. Ifeel so good about my newfound integrity and dont want to spoil it today, so please wish me luck. With love, Malico

morning to all, i hope all is well with everyone. it's going along as well as can be expected right now, still honest, but the day is just beginning so still have to very aware of what i say and how i respond to folks....btr, your wife is right and so are you, it is humbling when you confess to anyone, especially your spouse that you have lied to them about something...it is also "freeing", now you know that when you do "fess up" the world didn't come to an end,keep up the good work btr and it will be okay. bng is right in that what we lie about impacts so many more than just ourselves and out families, i like the pond analogy, excellent visual..malico, your visit with family is nothing more than another opportunity to be honest, face it head on and you'l do fine, we're all behind you and wishing you well today
a good truthful day to y'all