Hi my name is Larry and I am a liar. This is my first time here.
As I posted in one of the other discussion threads, my lying has resulted in the ending of our marriage. I had 2 interesting thoughts about this today.

One was that I now am presented with an opportunity to tell the truth and stop promoting this false self-image of myself. When people ask me how I am, I can simply say fine - which is probably what will say to the cashier at the grocery store. But when people I am close to ask me how I'm doing I can say - not so good, my wife and I are separated (or divorced which will be the case in a few months). I can leave it at that and let them feel sorry for me. Or I can be more honest and truthful and say my wife and I are separated because of all the lies I have told her over the years and trust I have destroyed. That will not be comfortable for me and will probably shock those who think highly of me - given the false image I have portrayed, but boy that would be the honest truth. So I am weirdly looking forward to this opportunity/challenge to be honest with people and stop living a lie. Caring so much about what people think of me has driven my destructive behavior for too long. I'v misrepresented myself, and created a false image.

The second thought I had today is more religious. Sorry if this offends anyone. I grew up in church and was close to God when I was young, then fell away for awhile, then came back when we had kids. I had fallen away again when our kids were in their teens. I had not prayed to God or felt close to him in years now (maybe like 7). I stopped going to church - not that it is required for a close relationship with God, but it sure is a place that makes you focus on your relationship with God. I went back to church last night and this morning (tried 2 different churches), and it dawned on me that God prizes my relationship with him above all else, and perhaps he knew it would take the dissolution of my marriage to get be back into a right relationship with him. Not saying of course that he caused me to lie - I did that all on my own and am personally responsible for wrecking our marriage but maybe he caused my lies to be found out because he knew that I had to be broken and at rock bottom to come back and seek his love and forgiveness. Kind of weird thinking about it that way but I know I have to change my core being if I am going to stop lying and I know that it is only with the help of my higher power that it will happen.

Hi I'm Drew and I'm a liar. Just checking in today.

howdy y'all

it's been a few days since i was last here and felt the need to get back here. welcome to the group all those who are new, this is a good place. noone should feel offended at the recognition of a 'higher power', lets face it that's the basic concept behind this and many other programs. whatever your choice of words, or belief systems maybe the concept of a higher power is at the core of these programs.. embrace it! still been truthful and still fighting those lies that keep surfacing from my past, how to deal with them, sometimes not so easy...making 'amends' even more difficult, especially when that person(s) heed to be met face to face, and the loss of that person in my life will hurt, not only them, but me as well. a quote for someone, shakespeare maybe..."oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we begin to deceive"...it will be back to bite you in the arse no doubt.....good luck to all of us today..

Welcome Larry. Sorry to hear about your marriage. I'm in a similar situation, although my wife is sticking with me for the moment - she is a wonderful woman and I have caused her great harm with my lying and addiction.

Like medicx, no reason to apologize for our need of a higher power. After years of spiritual emptiness it has been giving myself grace for my errors; working the steps everyday and turning my will over to my higher power that has helped me take a meaningful first step towards recovery.

I hope all of you have a lie-free Monday. I made it through a harrowing weekend with no lies and coming clean to many who are close to me. Not easy and not fun, but the result was realizing that I'm still loved even with all of my faults - my family is a gift.

Thanks BTR. Just checking in today. No lies (at least I don't think so). I also had my first opportunity to share with a friend of mine about my current separation and how it was caused by my lies. Felt freeing to disclose the truth.

Larry - it's amazing how freeing the truth can be - ironic isn't it? We lied because we feared the truth about ourselves only to learn it is our humility and willingness to be vulnerable that make us truly lovable.

Yesterday was a lie-free Monday. Turning to my program and my Higher Power for more of the same today.

Happy Lie Free Tuesday to everyone.

Hey All!

Checking in for the day. I have missed the last four days, I needed to voice that because it is a betrayal of myself to have not checked in.

I am shocked each day how hard it is to remain completely honest. The smallest things creep in there and a lie just itches to come out. I have kept them at bay for the past few days, but it is so much harder than I would have imagined.

Today I almost let one slip. I set up an appointment for the cable company to come out and upgrade the boxes in the house(they had been here previously to do this but three boxes were missed). When asked by the houses owner how many boxes were being switched I said two, and she then asked about the TV in a bedroom in the basement. I told her that an old box as well that must have been missed last time. I omitted the fact that I had not shown him that TV because I had forgotten. So I immediately corrected myself saying it was my fault the box had been missed because I did not show the tech that TV.

This is what I mean by the little lies, it is becoming easier to be honest about big things, but the little ones that seem so insignificant are where the real trouble is. Because no matter how small they are significant to me.

Have a great Tuesday everyone. And stay truthful!

Joel

Happy Tuesday everyone. Today has been a good day. Productive, honest, and its lightly snowing outside. I have been taking responsibility for my actions consistently the last two days and the improvements are measurable. Every day is a challenge, but today is a good day. The advice I was given a few days ago has been SO helpful. Being responsible for me, and controlling myself, and slowing myself down, is irreplaceable advice.

Hi, I'm Abe and I'm a liar. Lying has almost ruin my relationship many times. So I'm here to salvage our it. Today is day 1.

Thought I was going to make it through today without a lie but as I was thinking about my day I realized I had told a story to a friend today but left out one part that didn't make me look as good so I called him up and told him the whole story. Funny how just leaving out 7 words from a story can turn it into a lie. I didn't even realize I did it till I started thinking about it later. Hopefully it will come more natural to tell the whole truth if I keep practicing and go back as soon as I realized I didn't and set the record straight.

JA and Larry, good work y'all! strt, welcome to our club, I suggest you go back and read some previous posts about behaviours that help us remain lie- free.

Today has already been stressful. Big time ice storm and branches are down in the back yard on what appears to be a power line - yikes and my beloved 50+ year dogwood lost a big limb; add to that crisis at work and it wasn't even 7:30 am yet - not exactly how I envisioned my nice calm morning :-)

Yesterday was a good day - took things slow and was careful when speaking. Happy lie-free Wednesday to everyone.

I'm Drew, and I'm a liar.

mornin' to y'all

been a bit of a stressful few days, but unless something happened that i'm totally unaware of, it has been lie free. very difficult, but i made it.having some yard work done today....yeah i know that's cruel to my friends dealing with the winter weather to the east of me.hope all of you who are fighting the weather are doing okay and that you and yours are well. to all of the now folks who have joined us in the journey to honesty, welcome! glad to have you on board with us. it isn't an easy journey, but like the man said(whoever it was) the longest journey begins with one step and this may be that one step for you, i know it was for me. everyone take care, slow your mind, stop, think and speak you truth....good luck to us all

i've been lie free. but sadly my depression has been getting worst. stressing me out n making my skin flair up. sigh. i just want a cuddle. a friend to love me and devote that time to just comforting me. but alas we are all busy.

i hope your days have been better than mine :)
"just keep swimming..." Dory

howdy y'all
last check in before i head off to bed. made it through one more day without lying. not easy, like the song says, "some days you're the windshield and some days you're the bug".
'mj' there isn't a day goes by that we all feel the same way at one time or another. what works for me, other than when my wife was alive and having her hold me....find yourself an organization that needs some help and volunteer some time with them. i'm sure there are several in your town. find one and give some time to them, you will find that you'll feel better about yourself soon....take care 'mj' and everyone else