Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
The AAs have to call or text or email their sponsors every day. Since this is the best thing we got, and after reading some of the other topics, I'm going to propose that we do the same, just to touch base.
Hi, my name's Russ, and I'm a liar. I've been honest for 3 days.
Hi, my name's Russ, and I'm a liar. I've been honest for 3 days.
well another sat is over, at least for me. thought my lady and i would go dancing, but in attempting to make amends with a lady , just a friend, from last year. apparently that meeting didn't sit well with"X" and now i'm back in the dog house..never lied ,but it brought up some old stuff that should have stayed buried. we'd already talked about and i thought resolved it, but she brought it back up so i guess it isn't as resolved as i thought it was. i understand about getting the old stuff out of the way, but it seems that it keeps being brought forward again..how in the blazes am i supposed to handle that....i guess i'll figure it out one way or the other. perhaps i totally screwed this up beyond repair...i hope not, but will have to deal with it if it doesn't work the way i want it to....
'mj' hon, we all feel that "disconnect" from time to time and it has been said that the only thing that remains the same, is change. being able to adapt to these changes is what makes us who we are. what is it that's changing that you don't want to change? think about it..sometimes when an alcoholic gets sober he and the people he has been around as an alcoholic find they don't like him sober. sometimes that personality(sober) isn't someone those folks or him(her)self doesn't like change, even small ones can be difficult. stop, think, and try to figure out what it is about the change that you don't like, could be something so small that you can deal with it...it will take work, no getting around it...good luck hon, i know you can do it big hug to ya
MJ, I'm not sure if lying has the same kind of withdrawal symptoms as other addictions, but I wonder if what you're feeling is withdrawal of sorts. Exposing your true self can be traumatic, at least it has been for me. I'm changing the way I think the way I respond and I have noticed it has impacted the way I feel about myself. I'm truning into a persona that I have not known for a very long time and that is frightening because I don't know what a lie-free me looks like,
sunday, a day of rest it is said, but it is also said the is no rest for the weary, and indeed my 'blog friends' i am weary. yes i know that ll that is happening is due to my own behavior and that it isn't going to be easy. the ongoing changes in myself create necessary changes in others and that i have no control over. those changes may or may not impact me, mostly they will and there is nothing i can do if those changes in other aren't what i might have expected, i won't go back to what i was and i won't stop the path i''m on....so there it is...win lose or draw, i'm bound to continue with what i've started. y'all have a wonderful truthful day
My name is Joel and I am a compulsive liar. My first post explaining more about me I accidentally put under the "How to break your problem to loved ones" discussion (I am very new to this), so I wanted to say hello in the daily check in as well!
As I said in my original post I am at rock bottom because of my habitual lying, and I need to change my ways. It's hard, every time my mouth opens a lie just itches to jump out of it, and that is something I am not willing to allow anymore. It is unacceptable. I know that each day is going to bring new challenges to overcome, and all I can do is my best to meet them honestly and openly.
I guess that's all I have for now. I am excited to begin this path of renewal with all of you! All the best everyone.
Joel
Yesterday, was a good day after a rough Saturday (no lies, just lies catching up with me - it's like a friggin avalanche. Anyway happy lie-free Monday to all
and welcome joel, this is a good place and the folks here are good follks with the same problem as you so jump right in and read and feel comfortable and be honest...we all are trying to do that every day, some are easy and some can be a real ....tough 'btr' had it dead right, sometimes when lies 'catchup' with you it does seem like an avalanche...when that happens ll we can do is stand tall and ask folks to forgive us and go on the best we can. good monday y'all, stay strong and be honest
but the changes i find hard to handle is loosing people that were once close to me. ive always had a tether. but now i cant identify one and idk how to anchor myself. my fear of change is the fear of loosing my anchor and stability in life and not knowing how to deal anymore.
and the more honest ive become, and the more i try to be a better person to my family the more i realised why i lied in the first place. i think it was a cruel trick to stuck innocent people within a family of façades, mistrust and hate. just looking forward to finishing universityand being able to leave for good
hope you all had an honest weekend. i know i did.
still feeling lost though
'mj' feeling like you're losing your 'anchor' i understand the feeling been there and sometimes still doing that. i wish there were some fancy words that i could pass on to you to make it at least seem better, but i don't. perhaps losing your 'anchor' is a way for you to 'spread your own sails' and move on with your life.....family, that's another one that's a real bear to deal with. i read once where you can pick your friends, but you're stick with your family...boy is that ever true. i've got a little of the same problems with my family, but due to my age many of those problems have ended, if not resolved. all you can 'mj', is live your life the best way you can,, love your family in spite of them and be yourself...good luck hon, and big hugs to you.. (by-the-by i like your flowers)
The past few days have been a roller coaster with my wife... no lies... but like you all know, many old ones catching up. I have a lot of work to do to earn back the trust that has been lost. I hope i get the time to do that.
I agree with you 'big', i wake up with a very different feeling the last few mornings. And it can change very quickly depening on how my wife is feeling at that time.
I nearly lied today, but like 'born's' suggestion of slowing down is very key for me. I caught myself nearly slipping into a lie, but caught myself, slowed down, thought about what to say, and spoke the truth.
Keep working all, we can change our ways.
Have a good and honest Monday evening.
First I would like to say thank you for the warm welcome! It is so nice to know, and see, that there are people out there who share and understand my problem; and the difficulties that come along with it.
I too, like many of you am reaping what I have sewn for so many years. My girlfriend, had been absolutely amazing in being supportive and understanding, so I feel very lucky in that way. But the relationship has changed, it has an awkwardness to it now, where I don't know how to act around her. Do I give her a kiss before saying goodnight, do I take her hand as we walk down the street? Things that were so simple and natural now seem like giant obstacles that I must carefully traverse. But it is to be expected, I have lied for the four years of our relationship, and so now she has to get to know me again, and I have to get to know myself as well. Man it's hard.
I told my mother tonight that I had joined this group, afterall, the point of change is to change. And being open and honest is the only way I will. She was taken aback by my joining, I do not think she knows what to do with it, or what to think about it. I live in New York and my folks in VA so they have not been exposed first hand to what has been going on up here for me. It was hard for me to hear the skepticism in my mother's voice about my taking this step. But again, I understand and respect her point of view. She simply doesn't know what to make of it, or how to feel. She can't trust her own son, that has to be so hard to confront for her.
I, like 'jgt', have used 'Born's' suggestion today. And it has helped tremendously, slowing things down is a great way to catch yourself before you slip, so thanks Born! I have also realized that writing down the lies really helps. I have been doing this for my girlfriend. I have been writing every lie I can think of that I have told her and have put it on paper. In detail. And as I think of more I get them to her. It has been very helpful. I am now doing it for my parents, and friends as well. Sometimes it is hard to communicate these things, especially if youre like me and lie under pressure. So if you write it down for them to read there is no chance of you making it less or more than it is, and there is no misunderstanding for the other person.
'MJ', I know how you are feeling. I am in a place where I do not know where I am going. I know my relationship will end if I dont make a change, I have burnt bridges with my parents, and my girlfriends parents. I am not really welcome anywhere until I reform, and so I am alone. It's terrifying I know. But trust in yourself, believe in yourself, and take it one day at a time.
Yesterday was a lie free day - I have a meeting this evening which will test my resolve, but I do resolve to remain lie-free again today. I will face the consequences of being truthful - it is the only way for me.
Happy lie-free Tuesday to all and hange in there guys.
Ive had a good day and my wife seems happy today toward me, which has not been the norm lately.
Stay strong all... its such a rollercoaster ride.
Have a good and lie free Wednesday
was lie free today. hope you all had a good lie-free day. i know it will be hard sometimes but we're here for you.
(ty medix. it felt sad while i was sad, and now that im happy it also feels happy. it just feels honest)