I can't do that because I still can't comfort my broken heart from my first love.
I will give you 5 things you could say even if they aren't very comforting. She is just a dirt bag anyway. It certainly is her loss. You will fall in love again. Take one day at a time. Eat ice-cream. Lots of it. LOL. I don't think I would be good counselor material.

Can you help me to get more organized at work?

SURE I CAN. I MOVE ALL YOUR UNDERWAre INto THE BATH ROOM NOW YOU WINTER STUFF IS IN THE ATTIC. AND I MOVE THE KITCHEN INTO THE GARAGE. you do not need to cook and eat anyway . I do not know where I put all your importnt papers and bills Oh well NOW YOU HAVE MORE ROOM TO QUILT ALL MY QUILTS. SMILE


I NEED A VACATION DO YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME?

Well...I would like to help you but I can't because I do not know what Spontaneous Prose technique is. Maybe yoga? Maybe a new position to try? Maybe it is a combustible poem?

I need someone to help me decide what to have for dinner.

I will decide for you but you will hate the foods I choose.


I need to start cleaning my house more thoroughly.

You are no weirder than anybody else -- we are all weird in some ways. Would you want to be only non weird person in the world?

I need someone to reassure me that it is okay to have very big feet and still wear sandals..

I DO NOT KNOW HOW I COULD DO THAT. BECAUSE I WOULD NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD IN SANDLES THAT SHOWED MY BIG UNGLY FEET WITH ALL THE CORNS AND BUNIONS AND CRACKED HEELS AND INGROWN TOE NAILS AND ATHLETES FOOT. i CAN'T REASUR YOU AT ALL . DO NOT DO IT. YOU BETTER WEAR BOOTS BIG BOOT AND A LONG SKIRT.

I NEED SOME ONE TO WRITE ME A LOVE POEM SO I CAN SEND IT TO A SPECIAL SOME ONE PS THEY LOVE DANDY LIONS.

I would be glad to write you a love poem, but it would be so bad your special one would run the other way, So here goes:

I love you so much; I am not lyin'
My poetry is worse the harder I'm tryin'
So here are these loving lines
Just for your Dandy Lions.

I wish I could write a beautiful poem about nature.

Your wish was granted, but someone else signed their name to it.

I wish I could end all the suffering in the world.

You can end all the suffering in the world but you cannot do it without the help of millions of others.

I wish I could always know what to say at the time.

Your wish is granted...although even though you know what to say...the cat has your tongue and the words won't come out.

I wish I would be able to read more books.

I AM TOO BUSY ON DAILY STRENGHT ANSWERING SILLY QUESTIONS AND PLAYING SILLY FUN GAMES . WHAT ARE BILLS ANYWAY???


CAN I USE YOUR SMALL BLACK PURSE WHEN I GO ON MY TRIP NEXT WEEK?

I am going to be away for the next month. I won't be home.

Teach me how to sew without hating it.

i can do the teaching of sewing to you but the enjoyment you get out of it will be up to you You may catch one by seeing how much enjoy it but I am very busy teaching the imploding of building to teenagers in a gang near my city right now I figure if they are going paint all that graphic stuff they might as well knock down the building to put a stop to the graphic crap most are old abandon buildings anyway .


I want to learn how to eat with chop sticks please teach me.

I would like to teach you , but I am leaving on a trip to Japan in the morning where I hope to learn that myself.


I want to keep from putting my foot in my mouth .

Now this is going to hard and very painful . I am turing your feet around backward and sewing up you mouth with decorative stitches . Now you will mumbal and walk backward. it is the best I can do.


I wish i could fly