She called me today to tell me she is stopping her income from going to our joint account... she wants to sit down and go over all our bills and figure out what she owes me every month for house and cars etc... I broke down and cried again... This pain just wont go away... I miss her so much and i only seem to miss her more as the days go on... I wish I wasn't so inlove with her... I just dont know how im going to get out of this horrible place im in. ;o(

Time heals. Your pain will gradually dissipate over time.

Your present focus needs to be on ensuring your kids' happiness & well-being...

cleaning out my desk today as im moving to a new office... found a bunch of old cards from my wife i saved... all saying how much she loves me, and how she can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together... Just more heartbreaking things to see... I pray everynight for the strenght and guidence to get through this... I miss her so much... I love her so much and wish I had the power to change things.

I know most if not all of you will call me crazy, and say im making a mistake.. and you all may be right... but i am deeply in love with my wife, I miss her more each day... until divorce papers are served and the ink is dry... I am not going to give up... She has certainly given me no reason to think there is a chance right now... But where am i going? im not going to find anyone new anytime soon, my heart is devoted to my wife. I am devoted to my kids, and want my family. I dont know what if any coarse of action ill take... but my heart is telling me not to give up, not to loose hope. Ive already been dealing with the heartache and pain, it can't really get worse. I deserve better, and haven't been treated well lately and I know this. But for my kids, I am making a sacrifice to try to restore my marriage in any way possible if possible. I know it will be a nearly impossible long fight, but if I dont fight ill never have the chance to win. The advice on here as been very valuable, its comforting to know i am not alone, its comforting to know the pain and tears are normal. I know everyone on here at one point had the will to fight for there marriage before it was really over. It may be over from her perspective, and i may never change that... but for my heart its not. ill do anything for her and my family. Ive always been a selfless person. My kids deserve me to keep trying anyway i can. One day at a time, one battle at a time. I love my wife, I miss my wife, and I cherished the family we had... I simply can not let that just disapear without a fight.

The unfortunate thing about your statement, ESL, is you can't fix it alone. Your ex has stated over and over and over that she does not see the value in trying to restore your relationship. She has said this many ways and and many times, and yet you still are not hearing her. If you listened to your wife during the marriage the same way you have listened to your wife during the separation, you haven't been hearing her at all. In your original post you stated that " I don't know if I just didn't hear it, or she didn't explain it right, but there was a miss communication regardless". ESL, I do not think you listened or heard your wife during your marriage, and you are not hearing or listening to your wife now, or for the last 6 months. Every time you blatantly disregarded what your wife was asking during the separation-every phone call, every tearful outburst, every text, every conversation where you begged and cried and demanded-you were disrespecting her needs. Yeah, some of this is normal, but you have taken it to the extreme. You have a pattern established that you are concerned with your needs and not hers. You have not given your wife the space she needed to miss you or determine if your relationship was something she wanted to salvage, and in doing all of that, you probably pushed her right out the door and helped her solidify her decision that the relationship was beyond repair. Everything you have done, you say you do it all in the name of "Love". That is not love, ESL. Love is being concerned with someone else needs even if it means you are hurt because it is not what you want. Love is selfless. Love is respecting the other person. You have not been doing any of those things. My guess is after years of this, she couldn't take it any more. This is not a pattern that just developed out of the blue, it is probably one that has gone on for years, and yet, with your most recent statement, you still are not listening to your wife. This screams of needing to control the people around you, and that is just not healthy.

You can sit in the spot your are in and fight for something that doesn't seem to be changing. You can sit there and say you are doing it all in the name of love-you love your wife, you love your kids, you love your family-but the reality of it is, you aren't looking at the bigger picture. Your wife has made her decision, and if you really loved your children as much as you say you do, you would do what you need to do to focus on them. You no longer have a nuclear family, you have entered the ranks of millions of other people in this world-a single parent family, and frankly, ESL, if you don't get yourself together, and start focusing on your children, they are the ones who are going to pay for your actions now, and ultimately they will resent you for it. You don't want that. The sad truth of the matter is, your family as you know it is gone, and as much as you probably want to blame your wife, you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I have a feeling you both played a part in the demise of the marriage. Her for not communicating with you adequately and you for not listening to her adequately.

I'm sorry I'm not sugarcoating this for you, but honestly, I don't know how to. You have got to get it together, because the way you feel now can no longer be blamed on your wife, it is on you. You have done nothing to try and move yourself forward. You need to start accepting responsibility for your feelings and why you are stuck in this place of devastation. I'm sorry, dude.

I think that most likely you have been being disrespected yourself for a long period of time. Did your wife ever respect you? Were your needs met? Demanding people tend to produce clingy outcomes. My bet is she was a little bit demanding and if you didnt comply she shut you out but thats just me.

She already hired the u-haul and moved out. She's moved on. Remain stuck if you want to but it's at your own peril now. You need to man up for your kids.
Over 700 posts and you haven't moved an inch. Get some therapy or meds or whatever your kids are the ones who are going to suffer. Not much more to say. Your ex wife is DONE.
Deal with it like an adult

I predict a restraining order to be filled against you in the near future. Sorry if that came across as rude, but by reading all your posts... I know I would if I was her. Sorry you're hurting so bad, most of us here are, but dude you're taking it to the extreme.

I wouldn't file a restraining order unless you were threatening and have you threatened her in any way. If i were you i would get a lawyer to help you file a claim for Emotional abuse. It causes you to cling.

I wholeheartedly endorse the sentiments of Sja, Coop and Tailspin. The fight is over. Your wife is gone and so is your family as you knew it. You claim your children deserve you to fight on but I'm calling bullshit on that. Your children deserve a father who can face reality. They deserve a parent who can teach them how to face adversity and deal with rejection. The time has long since come for you to put on your big boy pants and start dealing with the reality of your situation. Last week you wanted to online date to avoid being alone. Now your back to professing your love for your wife though it's starting to seem a bit more like obsession. You need to accept that this is an incredibly painful process and deal with it. Sticking your head in the sand isn't going to make the pain go away. It's only going to prolong the misery. You may want to consider changing therapists because you don't seem to be making a lot of progress with your current one. As Coop suggested, it may also be time to consider medication if you're not already taking something.

Your children deserve a mother who doesnt manipulate their dad

I have a feeling you know reality. I call bullshit on only one thing. You are the person with abandoment issues and not your wife. That's what i call bullshit on because it is very obvious to me but your wife did in fact manipulate you and it doesnt make her less responsible.

I think you dont want your children to feel abandoned

I mean this with absolutely no disrespect, but I am very curious to hear her side of the story. Perhaps she had a reason for leaving. I only say this, because I spent over an hour rereading pretty much every post on this thread and if you do the same thing, you might learn a lot about yourself.

I learned a lot about myself when I went back and read my posts from day 1 on this forum.

I am starting to understand why your wife probably left. You do not listen to her. You do not respect her wishes.

You say you are making sacrifices & you are a selfless person, but I see no evidence of this whatsoever. You come across as unhealthily needy & clingy. You want her & the family unit back because it would make YOU feel better.

If you truly love your wife then respect her decision to leave. It will not be a decision she took lightly.

But I expect you to disregard all the sensible advice & resort to your usual method of trying to win her back - ugly self-pity, begging & crying. That will never work, so at least try a different strategy... perhaps really listen to what your wife is saying. I've said this before & I'll say it again - your wife shows you most attention when you look strong & confident - like you're coping, accepting the situation & moving on. This is when you become appealing to her.

It'll be a win-win situation for you because 1) either you'll win your wife back or 2) you'll be coping, accepting the situation & moving on.