leopardfreak

so confused

 HELL YA  i lost another 10 pounds so 30 in total when i loose another 50 i get a sewing machine yay !!! im gunna need it because my dogs keep eating my clothes so ill need to make new ones , im...

i think im doing pretty good now with things , i want my own place now i think i should set a goal about it and do so , only way im gunna do it  but im doing great , feeling better , but i did go...

with the others who did things to me , a friends dad , was my fault . i was 16 or 17 i wore really low tops or tight tops , his dad gabed my boobs when he asked me if i wanted a smoke , then i was so...

need to get this out  one time he wanted do to stuff i said no , i didnt want to , i asked him why not matt ... he said he like me better .. then contued to touch me my mom started to tell me about...

bad thoughts that just wont go away   people are getting me thing for x mas i told them no ... just to leave it be ... maybe i should be extrem screwge and not even open any thing ... i want people...

dont know where i am in life , i started a second job but makes me wanna hang my self ... why am i so blah when trying to wrok with costomers i caint explain ... once in a while ill get costomers...

i have these friends example  one - single mom . i helped her take her kids out at my cost , i baby sat , i did random things to help her out . - she through it in my face when i asked her to come...

i just got another job yay ... good im so money hungry .. maily cuz im a spendaholic  i so wanna just slit my wrists or my throught and that be that i couldnt do that till my bills were paid off i...

it started last month ... when u see notice that x mas is comming soon last night i relized that its sooner then ever ... all i wanna do is cry thinking about it ... i dont mind , i love buying for...

had a good day ...lets see if i can keep it up two days in a row  goal ... try to go a week of being atleast ok   

on how life feels now and how i want life to feel ... i feel like im so far away from where i wanna be... im so scared of failing but how can i fail  i dont even try ... it almost kinda seems as if...

tonight at work i was still feeling yucky cuz been sick for a few days now... well i work in a convienience store , but how convienent that a girl i went to hair school with came in ... not that she...

why ...why do i feel this waywhy do i feel at faultwhy do i think im in the wrongwhy caint i make it go awayi did it before im doing it againwhy caint i get the blam outa my head why do i fail why...