bad thoughts

bad thoughts that just wont go away   people are getting me thing for x mas i told them no ... just to leave it be ... maybe i should be extrem screwge and not even open any thing ... i want people to skip me just once just once i wanna be a nobody .... invisible to my family ...  i dont know if i wanted it for how many years ... that im most get my wish but people need to stop messing with it to it can be complete... \or if its from my depresion im thinking like this ..... i wounder if i should go back on my aunti depressants for another month or so ,,, seems like all i wanna do is cut and cry i hate living so much right now , my wish from santa would be to get hit by a semi asap or wind up flipping my car into a ditch and my car killing me ... i dunno something