My friend thinks I used to have an eating disorder. I was a healthy weight, and I maintained it by skipping meals. I was in band, and I almost passed a few times from not eating enough. So while in band, I tried to eat enough not to pass out, but when it started to get cold and I could eat less without worrying about passing out, I started skipping meals again. I never threw up, but I LOVED the feeling of an empty stomach, I thought I was fat (but I wasn't), and I loved lay down at night and feel my stomach sinking in and feel my ribs.....but the smallest I ever got was a size 8, so I was a healthy size.

Then a lot happened in life, and I ended up starving myself sometimes and binging other times. I didn't throw up, so the more I binged, the more weight I gained. Now I've been struggling to lose the weight for like 5 or 6 years.....and it seems the only thing that work is starving myself.......I don't want to feed into my old habits, but I miss being able to skip meals and stuff....and I DESPERATELY miss being a smaller size. I don't think I have or had an eating disorder.........but Idk...I miss my empty stomach. I'm really considering committing to not eating (300 cals or less), and exercise when I can, and I'll just ween myself back onto food when the weight is gone....but Idk...I don't want people worried about me and telling me that I'm starving myself. I hate my size now. It disgusts me so much...I don't know what else to do...