Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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Who cares? (Discussion)

101swoop101
101swoop101
When people hurt, no matter how big or small the situation is, it can be very hard and lonely for the person going through it...........and for victims and survivors, it can be even worse. People have a very non-caring attitude towards pain. So when I go through normal "painful issues of life," because they're normal ups and downs for everyone else, people just roll their eyes and have a "just get over it" attitude. And even if I had never been traumatized, pain still hurts and people should care about each other's hurt more. It's like, because "everybody hurts," we are all forced to just "suck it up" when we hurt. If we are lucky, we will meet good friends, lovers, or have good family relationships that will help to comfort you, but for the people who don't have that in their life, we are forced to carry the burden alone (unless/until we seek out help, or those relationships finally find us). And after going through a trauma, sometimes it feels like those everyday burdens are even more heavy than they should be......so during those times when we are bearing those heavy loads on our own, it can get so lonely and so hard to keep pushing forward. And it's easy to began to question if anyone cares at all...and if you matter at all...

I've been there. I've questioned if I mattered and if anyone cared at all. I was able to find this website and it's given me so much strength and support, but for those that don't have anyone.....I feel so bad. Why does this world have to be so evil?

Ugh. Anywho, if anyone wants to add anything, or commen,t or give their perspective, or whatever, I look forward to reading your thoughts :)
bseas
bseas
hi....how are you...I feel what your saying...however...this is the "get over it world" not Gods world!! his rules are not being placed at all!!! in the bible it says that he is not of this world!...which should tell us all something....but some people are atheist or don't do religion at all...so there for they are like...whatever....the system has a lot to do with whats going on...a llot of what is happening is by design...!!! has already been planned....were just behind...people in this world are very cruel and very harsh!!! don't give a dam...could really care less until it happen to them or anyone in there family...if they start caring then....do I feel bad for them...people in general ..yes...that's why I do the work that I do!!! to help ...in any way I can...we have to get up and do something about it...and I truly understands what youre saying....and nice to meet you.......my name is Angel
DayDreaminDreamer
DayDreaminDreamer
I am a believer that the world is what I make of it. Basically, I choose my point of view and shift my perspectives to suit me. I noticed that when I thought that the world was a cold, horrible place and people were not nice in general, That's what my experience of it was, and I was attracting only uncaring people. However, when I started looking into how my mindset affected my experience of reality, I realised that energy flows where attention goes and at the end of the day it is not what happens to us that matters, but how we respond to it. To have a an enjoyable experience of life all I have to do is focus on what I want out of life (as opposed to on what upsets me, what I don't want or what fear).

I also take full responsibility for my feelings and I take ownership of them. Therefore in my understanding people simply cannot hurt me. The way i see it, i feel hurt if someone does xyz. I dont have to be around such people and I have a choice not to allow them my personal power. Instead i find people that are good to me.

Life is really very simple. We can make it happy. We can make it horrible. It is all down to us.
fullmetalheart
fullmetalheart
Hey I totally understand feeling alone in the situation and not knowing where to turn. I have found that God, loves me unconditionally (and you) and he wants to hear our problems so he can help us through them. Often times people of the world do awful things to hurt people. Sinful things that pain us deep inside our soul. I too, don't really have anyone to turn to but this commuity, and God and if I have at least God i've found that is all I need. Often times when we are hurt we only see the bad situation that happened to us but I URGE you to look at the positive in the situation. Its horrible what happened to all of us but NOW now we can help people, we can warn others so they can be more careful and safer, we can be that person they come to talk to because the pain is overwhelming. The people whom raped us took nothing from us except our peace of mind and I REFUSE to be scared anymore. I REFUSE to hate and more. I REFUSE to be depressed because if ANYTHING I feel bad for the persons who raped me because they cant run or hide from God and I forgive them and hope they can forgive themselves and ask for GODS forgiveness because in the end it only matters what HE thinks about us. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and nothing can stop me from being happy and loving others. If you need anything let me know. I will be your friend if you'd like, someone to listen and hear the pain and even help you try to overcome it if you would like.
101swoop101
101swoop101
Hello :) I found all of your comments really interesting. They reminded me to not let my trauma swallow me up. I can help others, and on even the worse days ever, I have the ability to chose to be happy. Sometimes it's easy to remember these things, but other times, all I can remember is what happened to me and how much my life and who I am has been affected. I also thought the comment DayDreaminDreamer made about how your thoughts, attitude, and overall demeanor can attract certain types of people. I do find that to be true at all. When I was depressed and sad all the time, those are the people that surrounded me. When I was happy and laughing, so were the people around me. I guess it's like the old saying, "birds of a feather fly together."
I will really try harder to use my experiences as a way to help others, and to be a better person and keep better people around me.

It was so nice meeting you Angel and fullmetal heart :) And as always, I enjoyed seeing your comment DayDreaminDreamer :)
DayDreaminDreamer
DayDreaminDreamer
I completely agree with you that It's possible to allow the traumatic event swallow us up. And once the processing and integrating of the experience into our life experience is done, It's almost as easy as making a decision to be a thriver. I remember once I overcame the initial shock, and dealt with the most intense stuff, I just decided I wouldn't let the rape dictate the rest of my life. I remember reading about people how they are still traumatized ten years later after the fact, and thinking to myself "this is not going to be me, I am refusing to live my life in fear and pain of the rape, ain't happening. I am going to come out of this a stronger and better person". Now I look at the rape as a life lesson i had to learn the tough way, because that's what it was to me. I learned something that was relevant to me, and i learned it well. Rape is a horrible experience to happen to anyone, and it's unpleasant for me to talk about my own rape, and i seldom do nowadays, because i dont see a good enough reason to bring myself right back there and suffer it over and over again. There are many many things in life to be appreciative of. To a degree, i am appreciative of my rape experience (which i would rather not go through ever again) because i learned some very valuable lessons.