Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
Most of the times, I say I am a survivor......but realistically, I am still affected by everything that happened.....no matter how I say I'm not, and that I am over it, I know that the scars are still there...I thought I was healed completely, but I don't know...I never truly dealt with everything, I just stuffed it. So sometimes I wonder am I still a victim or am I really a survivor? What does it mean to be a survivor? And am I or will I ever truly get to the point where I know without a doubt that I am a true survivor?
Idk, I've been thinking a lot about my past lately...I don't dwell on it too much, but my trauma has been on my mind a lot this week.......I know it's part of my story, and I can never erase that part of me no matter how I try and hide it....but still, sometimes I just want to be normal. Every since the initial assault (I was assaulted then by the next month, he started raping me), I feel like an outsider looking in....and even when I am doing good, sometimes I feel like a fake...I don't feel a part of society anymore, like I'm an outcast (if that makes any sense)...Idk, some days I still feel so dirty and stuff...I've learned to still live in spite of what all I've been through, but does that make me a survivor or am I still a victim?
Idk....what do you think being a survivor means vs being a victim?
Idk, I've been thinking a lot about my past lately...I don't dwell on it too much, but my trauma has been on my mind a lot this week.......I know it's part of my story, and I can never erase that part of me no matter how I try and hide it....but still, sometimes I just want to be normal. Every since the initial assault (I was assaulted then by the next month, he started raping me), I feel like an outsider looking in....and even when I am doing good, sometimes I feel like a fake...I don't feel a part of society anymore, like I'm an outcast (if that makes any sense)...Idk, some days I still feel so dirty and stuff...I've learned to still live in spite of what all I've been through, but does that make me a survivor or am I still a victim?
Idk....what do you think being a survivor means vs being a victim?
I found this table in which they define victim - survivor - thriver. Very easy to understand and determine where you personally find yourself in your healing journey. See for yourself:
http://www.cbwhit.com/Victim-to-survivor.htm
Some therapists can be pricey alright.. I was lucky I found a decent one in the sense that he charges the idustry's minimum and still is almost embarrassed about it especially if he knows that money is tight. But payments are necessary because it's one of therapeutic boundaries that by paying your therapist enables you not to feel obliged or indebted to them, so I have no problem paying a reasonable fee. Having said that, some of them charge ridiculous prices.
I highly highly recommend in-depth therapy, it's powerful stuff and even though it can be scary it's well worth it.
It is my opinion that once you can laugh without feeling ashamed, or cry at a tv commercial again than your on the road to recover. Recover time is different for everyone. Give yourself time to heal.
Even healing time is different. I had a spouse who abused me terrible, made me feel unworthy of life. It has taken me a long time to find myself again. Too get my self worth back. Once when I tried dating the person said he doubted I would ever heal that hurt me terrible. But it made me want to prove him wrong, I went out and completed counselling , and psychotherapy , I found hypnosis was what worked for me to get rid of the nightmares and flash backs. But we each will find what works for us. I wish you strength and love soft hugs that tomorrow will be easier and better. for you. rosie
http://www.rainn.org/public-policy/legal-resources/compensation-for-rape-survivors/website-links
*you may have to try many to find the one right for you. (It's worth it but can be frustrating along the way.)
*know that things may surface that you aren't ready for or weren't expecting.
*ups and downs from sessions will happen.
*having a support system will make a difference because some therapists like to get them involved in your healing so you don't feel so alone.
These things aren't meant to scare you off but to help you.
I went into therapy knowing none of them so I'm just passing along my new found knowledge. :)
You'll still have rough times, I won't lie about that. You may have times of depression and when you just want to lie in bed for a decade hoping things will change by then. That's when you reach out for support again. Your therapist may also know of local support groups to help aid.
Your life won't change overnight but over time you'll find that you spend more and more time on the survivors and thrivers lists than the victims one. At the end of the day, you'll know one very important thing... you've won.