gimmestrength2008

i feel very sad today got up  knida early and stayed up for a few hours, then took my meds and ate 6 waffles and went back to sleepson woke me up wene leaving for school so i thought id better get...

well, took meds and sleeping pill so i can type a little better. just had dinnerat midnight. thats no good no wonder im so fat and dont want to ever do anything. dont think ill leave tomorow only to...

well, here i am again. so nervoius i cant realy type very good have to take my xanex. its allready 9.30 pm and i havnt ate or takin my pills yet. just so tired and nervoius. oh if i could live...

well, here i am again. so nervoius i cant realy type very good have to take my xanex. its allready 9.30 pm and i havnt ate or takin my pills yet. just so tired and nervoius. oh if i could live...

well, surprise, didnt go anywere or do anything. got up early, wrote in journal, took meds and went back to sleep. didnt wake till 6.30. now im up. so hot today. son out drinking so i got on here...

i am sooo happy to be online again. son moved bakd home AGEIN. he didnt make it out in the real world again. but at least i get to be online some now. probly only at night durring the week. havnt...

getting sleepy now so im going to have to get off here for the night. hopefully ill get back on somewere. granny going home tomorow yay so i wont have to come over here after this. might be back this...

i hope this turns positive. looks like son may be accaully moving out. for realy this time. im having hard time believing it but that is how it happened with other son. here one day, gone the next....

well, i can finnaly put something positive in my goal update. i left the house 5 or 6 thimes this week. still not going out in public, just family. but its a start. im very happy about this....

im in a lot of pain lately. i have gained so much, i gained weight in my liver. i now have a fatty liver. oh the pain. i did lose 11 pounds, that was with diaretics and laxitives, but its a start. im...

THIS JUST IN!!!! I LEFT THE HOUSE TODAY  allert the media

well, the seasons are changeing finnally. this is the first day i didnt have to use ac. im so fat now that im hot all the time, not just the flashes. im going to my cousins house tommorow night for a...

i realy feel pretty good today. i went to see the counseler today, going to be a once a week deal. now i aat home, trying to figure out wat to watch on tv. still trying to clean my pig stye, going to...

i cahnged my goal to 0 because i think im going bacwords, i know i am. i am at an all time low in self asteem. i notice that i have a realy hard time making eye contact, had this prob most of my...

it realy sucks to be me today. i cant shake this feeling that something realy bad is going to happen. dont know what or wene but i know its going to happen. i can feel it. dont like feeling like...