alantm
Status: just lost ...looked a lot..and no paths ..im lost
Mood:
Bad
Offline
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scary thought is im still here from 2008im still writing to a page i joined on a day i wanted to kill myself2 yearsi still get flash images of cut yourself.i dont know why that makes any sence at...
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today we splitits over after everything.i really dont get any of the way life goesit really is like some crazy game where im a ball in pin ballback to alone
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dont post here much anymorebecause im blank to everythingthe way i act is a lot like depression buti dont feel anything,i have accepted that it is all out of my controland people around me dont see...
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did sound at 2 funerals todayfor a 16 year old girl that hung her selfand an 18 year old that killed herself with drugsall this death is just confusing me to what im living for
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i can hardsly type.i am so drunk here woke alonebevcause i am
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i need to get thinerall this going out on dates????has made me eat morea year of pains slowed me downthe lack of band work has taken away my exercisei used to get a good work out from that 2 or 3...
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back drinking quite a bitgone is the post ofi dont need to drink i feel emotionaly fullnaim very empty
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where am i up tobeen away a bit i gess that is a goos signmy date?is still aroundwell 30 miles awaystill as god fearing as evershe still wants to run off and find god for 6 months againwants me but...
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over the last few days i have flipped againi am cold.i dont really feel anything nowi feel resentment maybe?or a mix of other emotions when i felt a door was closedshe has tagged her self so much on...
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still not walkedshes nicebut fear it is really doomed im also really drunk tonighti seem to have fallen as i have lost hope
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ive decided to walkback to nothingbut at least i dont have to fight the invisableand cope with a woman who is 39 and never even spent a night in the same room as a manim not doing a 3 months then...
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today wnet to a reiki sessionit was booked for me by my friend =singer girlmostly to see if it had any effect on me like herits like a relaxation thingbut it didnt really do that to meit just made me...
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sill sort of togetherits so shakeyshe would love to get married and have a kid or morethat scares mei could see the marry bit if things were okbut that would be enough for mei cant face kidsso it may...
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confusionwish i could hurt myself to make this make senceits to scaryto confused
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went out to see her to split up said a few thingssome issues we have are so massiveit cant be a compromisereally it is overwe ended the night by going out we had a nice nightshe said if this is the...
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