alantm
Status: just lost ...looked a lot..and no paths ..im lost
Mood:
Bad
Offline
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after tonight i guess my life is not so screwy people have to many issues im not to socialbut thats because all i see from people is fighting even in churches its the same,they in fight...
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had a bad night my fault really triggered my self if thats the word round here for it got in a situation talking about someone i hate for me the word hate is so rare i dont hate anyone so to...
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turkish girlfriend says she is coming back in 3 weeks or lessit will cause lots of problemsbut i do feel good about it even with problems i will feel like i have someone who thinks about meor at...
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happened again i just woke from a dream where im shouting at someonehad to check i wasnt shouting for real my heart was racing i have to much tension insied .i do inside im in a quiet panic..i...
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i have to less hostile people dont like it they wont say with me on the bad parts they never doso i have to fake it stick on the im happy and stupid act i hate to do that i feel so fake
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not doing to well events have knocked me to the floor now who am iand where am i ment to be
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if i were beutiful people would care if i were the most alfull person in the world on the inside people would love me for the out side if i were beutiful and destroyed my body people would cry...
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im not being nice to people right now .im being cold aukward its because i feel hurt not sure if its the right word unloved un valued and i feel upset that people i know give all of them self...
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sick of seeing people who are shit winning is that such a bad thing>yes im pissed off im not going in to it all but if your a shit head chances you are going to winif you are nice = arse hole...
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toady like most othersi got though it feeling like a patient people are telling me things to make me feel optomistic but i dont beleive them today is like yesterdayand the year before so i cant...
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thinking about the cutting thing its been years but i do think about it even now to mark myself to finnish off a feeling i cant explain and it aways flashes the memory of the first time when...
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alone i wish i wasnt tonight i realised im am looking at what made my life whatit is not what my life will be im looking it like its over sumerising it i wish i was a better person.i wish my early...
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today is incompleat it feels all wrong
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i wish i had some one closer to talk to
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i have 1 or 2 poeple that i work with thatare startting to get to know me i think they are shocked how low my self worth is .i dont notice it like that i have a good view of things i think
dd