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my counselor wants me start thinking about end of life care. she says its important that I feel I have some control and say so I told her I will wrote 2. one real and one I wish could be real. she...

didn't get to go to the dr today because she said she hasn't goten paid yet for me and shes not wasting her money. feeling worse, don't think pain pumps working enough and I can't feel my leg most...

home is not the right word but only word I can think to usefirst place was bad. got hit so hard tube cane out but got it put back in.i don't like doing the feedings. I want pizza or a burger or...

the talk with John was not good. he don't want me to stay and hes already told my social worker and dhes been looking for some where for me to go. I don't know what else to write because everything...

thats what the insurance company said the chemo is. not optimal. what that means is its not worth it to them to pay for it because it wont cure anything and just give me more time and I guess to them...

suposed to find out tomorrow if we can do the chemo and then after that I'm suposed to go to the groip therapy at the hospital but I don't like going to those because all the kids have family with...

the fever mint a infection so I when I was in the hospital they did antibiotics and changed how much pain med the pump puts out. they did more scans and more tests and the cancer is going faster than...

I'm so tired all the time and I think i sleep to much and I don't like being alone. I watched lot iCarly today. I have a fever and the area around the pump is red and hurts but I don't want to go...

I don't remeber the surgery but guess it went good. I was really scared before going in and after all I remeber is pain and lot of it and that was because they needed to turn the pump up higher but...

Monday I go in the hospital to have the pain pump put in because pills and patch are not working enough and I hurt so much. they say the pump is going to help much more and be constant so I should be...

I wonder what I was in my previous life. I must of been a very bad person.options. yesterday me, my social worker, my advocate and my brother had to talk about options. doctors think chemo will slow...

I was stupid and asked a question in the bereavement group of what it was like. dying. it was stupid because now i wish I didnt know. I'm scared. I don't want to die slow or fast or be in pain or...

I wish I had something great to write but I don't. fever is still 102.i hurt a lot and in tired. I wishi hada mom.i wish this could all be over.

I'm so tired all the time and I hurt. the tube I think is healing ok but it was leaking today but I think the nurse had said that can happen and just make sure it doesn't come out. no letter from...

just got out of the hospital today because they put the tube in monday. the kid I shared a room with also had ewing sarcoma and hes the same age as me but he's only been dealing with it for a few...