pain pump surgery

I don't remeber the surgery but guess it went good. I was really scared before going in and after all I remeber is pain and lot of it and that was because they needed to turn the pump up higher but they couldn't do it all at once but slowly. I feel wierd, like a alien or something because all the scars and the tube in my chest and belly and now this pump. my hairs coining back, for now. John didn't come see me. he was probly working but my advocate bring me home. I was hoping there would be a letter from dad but there not. I don't know if I should keep writing him. probly not. I don't think I can do my list of things to do. I wish I had a mom or someone. I need to do a feeding then I guess watch tv.