hopeless9

I'm writing this today because I wanted to make sure I would make it.  Had I  written it last night....who knows.  Anyway, I made it through yesterday a bit easier than I thought.  Was it the...

Wow, the day is almost over........tomorrow will be hopefully a smoke free day, please let it be a smoke free day.  I want this to happen so badly.  I can't believe this day is almost over :(   I...

Oh, soooooooooo depressed today :(  I think it's because my quit date is right around the corner.  I have chewed so much gum to try and cut down that my teeth feel like they are going to fall...

I am depressed.  I cried today.  I was under so much stress and couldn't find an outlet.  So, of course I smoked.  I used the stress as my excuse and my children just sat there and watched...

Ok, I did great yesterday. I had no cigs until 7:30pm. I wasn't craving one all day. I was so proud of myself until 7:30. Then for no reason, I lit up. I couldn't tell you why. It was like I...

Ok, started Chantix today. So my quit date is next Wednesday. The limiting of my cig intake is going well with going from 30-35 cigs a day down to 10 cigs a day. To many people that wouldn't sound...

Well, had much better will power today.  Decided not to start the Chantix until tomorrow.  I did pretty well at will power, but lost it when I got a call telling me that I lost out on a job.  No...

I failed miserably today...........I didn't have will power.  Why did I have it yesterday and not today.  I started out terribly.  I woke up and had a cig.  I kept thinking, ok, I'll only have...

Ok, so I've decided to quit smoking.........not that is has not been on my mind for about 5 years now.  This demon has such a grip on me.  I mean, I thought I wouldn't quit drinking and that that...

Thank goodness the holidays are over.  I don't remember being so busy in the past.  I haven't been on this site for a while and I think I know why.  They say time heals pain, and I think it truly...

Again, I am all alone.  The one "friend" I thought I had has abandoned me on this site, just like the rest of the people in my life.  That's ok, no feelings hurt, I'm totally used to it.  Again, I...

Well I'll start off the new year with getting what has recently happened in the past  and then I will leave it there. I am no longer really speaking to everyone in my family.  My younger sister...

Can't sleep  

Since I've moved back to this state, I've noticed everyone smokes and drinks.  I can't even begin to be on their same level.  My sister just was diagnosed with liver disease (cirrhosis).  She will...

I have to start keeping track of my life.  I don't plan on living forever, and when I do go.....well, people will know why. My birthday was the other day.  I had to work in the morning, but then...