hopeless9

To everyone on here that may read this, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for being so nice to me.  Thank you for the hugs you have given me.  They make me smile and feel like people care.I am...

I'm having a really bad day today and I  just want a damn cigarette.  I don't care anymore.   I just want a cigarette because this is what I do when I am this depressed is smoke and smoke and...

Well, today is just the same as yesterday.  Why am I so depressed?  I cried again for a long time.  I'm being mean to everyone in the house and I feel so bad about it.  I'm mad, I'm angry, and...

Well, today is just the same as yesterday.  Why am I so depressed?  I cried again for a long time.  I'm being mean to everyone in the house and I feel so bad about it.  I'm mad, I'm angry, and...

Today, my anxiety got the best of me.  I obviously did not smoke, but I had to take more clonazepam  than usual.  I am not sure what happened today, but I just broke down crying for a couple of...

I don't know why I've been so depressed lately.  I mean it's this feeling of hopelessness that keeps with me.  It's the stomach ache of anxiety overtaking me that won't go away. I guess it's been...

Yes, let me tell you that when things go wrong, everything goes wrong.  I am ....I'll write more later

Well another boring day.  I guess my nerves are at their ends from my husband being home so much.  I know that's terrible to say, but we just are not used to spending so much time together.  Plus...

Yesterday, seemed to take forever, and as boring as it was, I still forgot to write in my journal.  Well, not much happened yesterday.   I was a bit aggravated all day, and I'm not sure why. ...

I don't know how I keep erasing my journals half way through writing them, but I have done this so many times and it's really pissing me off.  I begin to write another sentence and then poof....it's...

Well, day twelve came and I have to admit it is getting much easier.  The cravings are less frequent and don't seem to last as long.  I have been dealing with a little bout of depression and that...

When I made my goals the other day, I noticed that DS puts them down as habits....I surely know that even with my best argument, to keep drinking and smoking I absolutely love the word "habit".  It...

Well, this morning I woke up with more bad dreams to remember.  I would write them down but I think I want to forget these.  I slept really late 8:30, which has not been so unusual lately.  I...

Last night I had such a powerful dream, or should I say nightmare.  I remember it so vividly, like as if I was watching movie.  There I was in a bar with my dad, a friend, and myself.  I was...

When I look back at my last day of smoking, I can't believe how upset I was.  I was smoking one cigarette after another in just disbelief that I was quitting.  Now that it is day 8, I am not...