mel40
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- This morning I grabbed a journal to begin 2015. I opened it to discover i had used it in Oct 2011. What I read shocked me. My late husband had already been diagnosed with cancer and I was already grieving the loss of our relationship. I didn't...
- I was so down this morning. Down on me. Down in life. Then my sister called. She is 27 and separating from her husband. I took my focus off me. I hate that she is going through this with 2 small children. I cried for her.Then I decided to head to...
- I remember the first time I read 1 Timothy 5:9-15, after my husband's death. I was devastated! My first love is Christ. I didn't want to become the widow it talked about. Its been a few months shy of 2 years. I have dated yet didn't want to jump...
- That we can each remember that Christmas is not about us or loss. It is about the birth of our Savior. Love and grace given to us before we even knew we needed it. In our quiet moments this holiday, I hope we can take a moment to thank God for His...
- It's been almost 2 years. Yesterday, I took my 19 1/2 yr old cat to the vet. She was not optimistic. I thought I would be ok because the cat is so old. But the vet said its either "congestive heart failure or cancer." My mind snapped to when I heard...
- I asked a man out on a date. He said yes. I don't expect it to go anywhere but I'm proud of myself for having the courage to ask.
- That's how much longer until my daughter turns 18. She is a troubled teen and a defiant one. I'm counting down until she becomes responsible for herself and it's no longer my role. Watching the second hand on the clock is sometimes what gets me...
- I became a widow March 24, 2013. It seems like eons ago. I came to this site often looking for direction. I've found a point in my path that I can sit and reflect. I want to give to others to help them. Here are a few points1. You don't need to make...
- Think on it. I read an article tonight about meditation and the science of the mind. Basically, different parts of the brain are activated by different thoughts. Sad thoughts activate the right prefrontal cortex and happy thoughts activate the left...
- I couldn't wait. I have never been a very patient person but after 18 months of cancer, I couldn't wait to be done with grieving. I couldn't wait to have someone in my life. My life. My chapter 2 is my daughter and I. It's my home, my career, my...
- I dreamt last night that I fell in love again. I think it is my heart opening up to the idea of loving somebody else. I've dated and I've learned a bit. Dating is not the same as love. Dating is fun until you get to the place where you have to make...
- Congrats to me! Cooper Owen was born last night! I have to tell you that I am in love. Of course, I fall in love with all kids. This one is different. I was there before they cleaned all the mess off of him. I was there when they took him to NICU. I...
- I've been doing some soul searching lately and realized that I've got a single thought which has caused me alot of problems.I can't. It began when my father and my husband were both fighting cancer. My thought "I can't deal with this." But I did. I...
- What exactly does that mean?I am there. Sick of it. Ready to move on. Ready to be done with it. It started June 2011. He died March 2013. That's long enough.Right?Is there a substantial meaning behind me being tired of it?
- So much changes over time. Sit and watch the birds for a while and let time pass. Watch a show or the clouds. Let time fly. My husbands family disappeared after his death. Bad blood according to them. I think it has to do with his death and their...