Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I became a widow March 24, 2013. It seems like eons ago. I came to this site often looking for direction. I've found a point in my path that I can sit and reflect. I want to give to others to help them. Here are a few points
1. You don't need to make a decision right now. Just sit. Cry. Remember them. Prepare yourself to enjoy silence, silence, birds singing, clouds and flowers.
2. Nobody will understand you. But most people will go through what you are going through. If they judge you, forgive them, nobody knows until they walk in your shoes.
3. It becomes the normal. You will hopefully find peace over time. This is a long, hard road. It won't happen at once.
4. You are going to experience so many feelings that you've never felt before. It's ok. You fell in love over a long period of time and it's been taken away in one second; one breath.
5. You don't owe anybody anything. Don't ever tell yourself that you do. Life is fluid. It's going to continue on.
6. There are many decisions to be made and remember, they don't have to be made at once. Prioritize. Choose 3 per day. Make those decisions. Some days will be kinder and you will only have to make one decision. Enjoy those days.
I want everyone to find solace and comfort. You will in your own time. Don't rush anything. Just stop and smell the roses. The pain is real. Every rose has thorns. But they are there for a reason. Enjoy those moments. They won't last forever. I promise.
1. You don't need to make a decision right now. Just sit. Cry. Remember them. Prepare yourself to enjoy silence, silence, birds singing, clouds and flowers.
2. Nobody will understand you. But most people will go through what you are going through. If they judge you, forgive them, nobody knows until they walk in your shoes.
3. It becomes the normal. You will hopefully find peace over time. This is a long, hard road. It won't happen at once.
4. You are going to experience so many feelings that you've never felt before. It's ok. You fell in love over a long period of time and it's been taken away in one second; one breath.
5. You don't owe anybody anything. Don't ever tell yourself that you do. Life is fluid. It's going to continue on.
6. There are many decisions to be made and remember, they don't have to be made at once. Prioritize. Choose 3 per day. Make those decisions. Some days will be kinder and you will only have to make one decision. Enjoy those days.
I want everyone to find solace and comfort. You will in your own time. Don't rush anything. Just stop and smell the roses. The pain is real. Every rose has thorns. But they are there for a reason. Enjoy those moments. They won't last forever. I promise.
Hugs and peace to you
Deb
Thank You!
I co-facilitate a DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) group, but I tell the members I am not "healed" just because I learned to cope, after many years. The meetings give me strength and comfort too.
And when I come to DS, I am comforted by reading about and connecting with others who can relate to the things I am experiencing, and giving and receiving encouragement is healing too.
My mom died in March, my wife of 25+ years died in July, and my best friend died in September. I came upon a photo of him in a box tonight, and I told him I love him. My friends tell me they cannot imagine how I feel - and I am comfortable to cry in their presence when I need to. Our daughter and son-in-law are beautiful people, I will be spending Thanksgiving with them. I started to cry when I met my daughter for coffee on Thursday, and she hugged me.