Alliegator

Writing a journal entry while I am on ambien may not be the best idea.  But here it goes.  I cut again today it is much worse than yesterdays cuts.  I have 6 bad ones and 4 oka ones on my hip and...

I just cut.  :(  I have only cut twice in the past year and a half.  I just want to keep doing it.  I think I am falling apart.

Anorexia keeps trying to pull me back.  I keep switching between letting it win and restricting and knowing I need to eat normally.  I am just trying to keep in mind all of the negative...

So I really don't feel like writing a long journal right now, but just to update the situation... I finally got to see Brad in the hospital yesterday.  He is looking pretty good.  He is tired a...

I'm at my best friend's house now.  Her mom is staying in the hospital with her dad, Brad, tonight.  She is a mess.  Her boyfriend came over too and we all hung out for awhile.  We did a really...

I just found out my best friend's dad who is basically my second dad is getting open heart surgery on Monday.  I don't really know much other than I think he needs a triple bypass.  He doesn't...

I may be starting a hypomanic episode.  I really hope not though.

I feel horrible.  I am so stressed out about school.  I have been working my ass off spending 6 hours a day in the library.  I just couldn't do it today.  I have a midterm tomorrow that I feel...

Ugh.  I can't sleep.  I think it is because I am so stressed out.  At least this gives me time to work on homework but I am going to be soooooooooooo tired in class tomorrow.  I'm not entirely...

I have been pretty productive today even with all of the random homework breaks.  Hopefully this continues!

I have a major headache right now.  I really need to be working on homework but I am just so tired from working.  I guess I will just get to bed and get up early-ish so I can study some before...

I'm feeling a little better about my body.  I went to my psychologist today and she helped.  I did realize that I have way more body issues than I thought.  I always considered my anorexia to be...

Well I am feeling less overwhelmed by school.  I just ate an entire pint of ice cream though.  I think I can feel the fat forming.  I wish I could be a better eater.  I still really miss...