Alliegator

Things have gotten more stable I guess. I going to the psychatrist an a week to discuss changing my medication. I feel like I should be getting more out of the drug therapy than I am. I hope this...

well I didn't fight the urge. I cut. I'm a horrible person. I think I'm getting fat. Why can't I just stop eating? I hate myself. stupid mirrors. Stupid sissors. Stupid life.

Im having urges to cut again. I odn't know if I care enough to fight them. I'm having a really hard time caring about anything at all lately. I wish I could stay in bed all day.

I feel like I can't get better. If I'm not anorexic I'm in deep depression and if I'm not in deep depression I'm cutting and if I'm not cutting I'm anorexic. Why can't I survive without negative...

I find myself considering resticting my daily calorie intake more often than before. I feel I am still in control at this point. I hope the stress of college doesn't start something spirling out of...

Yay I'm home!!!!

Well my birthday went amazingly well. It really was one of the best birthdays ever. However, now my depression is returning a little. I really cannot wait until my parents come to visit. I really...

I really really want to cut. I don't understand why I am so upset. My birthday is tomorrow I should be happy but all I can think about it picking up the sissors. I don't feel like I can talk to any...

Well I just got back from seeing my new psychologist here at college. She seems nice. I should be in history right now but I guess I skipping today. I have a hard time having to tell my life story to...

Things have definitely settled down and I have found more of a routine. I still miss my home but not nearly as much as the last time I wrote. I'm actually suprised by how much I miss talking to my...

I kind of have the urge to cut again...but luckily I have a roommate so I don't really have a chance to do it. I'm trying to keep busy to keep my mind off of it. I really miss my home. I can't wait...

I don't really have time to write an in-depth journal but I'm loving college. I fell in love with it within 2 hours of being here. I seriously could not have asked for a better move-in/ first two...

I really don't know hhow I feel right now. I can't find the right words. I feel anxious. I want to cut. I want to stop eating. But I don' want to feel this way. I can't wait to start school. I'm very...

I start college in 16 hours. I am nervous....I feel sick. I'm excited but I don't want to leave home. I have lived in the same place, gone to the same school, danced at the same studio and had the...

OMG! my friend just got engaged to the most amazing guy! I'm so so so happy for her!