arfie
Status: knowledge is all past tense. i can't **know** a thing until it has already happened. stay in the present tense. stay ignorant.
Mood:
Ok
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The illness which plagued the adult years of the son I just buried was diagnosed with, "Paranoid Schizophrenia." So far as I know, the diagnosis was presented by an unsupervised ER intern during his...
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This week's festivities were the first funeral I have ever actually attended. The estrangement tradition within my own birth family makes the burn 'em, scatter 'em and forget 'em approach downright...
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Mommy is heavy on my mind this morning. In relation to me, that would be The DIL. For the little ones who have coopted my golden years, that is Mommy. In imitation of her crazy grandmother's dominant...
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Many a pagan faith believes that we donae choose our Earth Spirits. They choose us. When I allow myself to dance with those theories, Quetzalcoatl is one of the more enigmatic characters of the ghost...
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The annual O'Henry Pun Off was one of the more sacred rituals YS and I shared throughout his public school years. He inherited my stutter, so his ambition to be an O'Henry Punster was a far more...
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Be it ever so humble. . . The Bee Buggy (Hubby's truck) was filled to capacity with exhausted restlessness as we made the 3 hour drive north last night. Well. . . It used to be a 3 hour drive. With...
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The viewing is done. The older sibs were quite animate in viewing and speaking about their parents in the coffin. To my fuzzy senses, they appeared too happy to see their other grandparents and...
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Tensions at the farm escalated pretty rapidly this morning. When I am travelling with children, I like leaving early enough that the anticipation anxiety doesn't have time to escalate. The Viewing...
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One of the quieter mysteries in my broken life is the light show which is in continual motion in front of my visual perception. I have attempted to discuss ^it^ with a wide range of medical...
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Yesterday was a rough day for the two older sibs. Girl, howdy, siblings can be mean. I don't know which of the children was pinching and poking meaner. I didn't bother to run the stats on that one. I...
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My youngest son has been dead for 8 days now. The southern great plains has a new river, springing from the peak of this dusty hilltop. Out, out, brief candle. . . You are missed, my gentle and...
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This dawn finds me hyper-vigilant and patrolling perimeters. Big Sis is sorta kinda patrolling with me. Each time she wakes and finds me MIA, she hunts me down and finds a nap spot close to where I...
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The funeral is scheduled for the viewing Monday evening and the Service Tuesday morning. Hubs and I have requested that the two be treated equally. If one casket must remain closed, please have a...
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Yesterday was rough. Hubs has been ball-hogging again. Business as usual for him. His name for this particular ^it^ is, "Busying Out." His primary coping mechanism during hard times is putting on his...
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Big Sis woke up talking about "Mommy and Daddy are dead." with 3 year old matter-of-factness which sent a light chill wave across my senses. A light chill. There was no macabre innuendo to the...
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