Processing IV

The funeral is scheduled for the viewing Monday evening and the Service Tuesday morning. Hubs and I have requested that the two be treated equally. If one casket must remain closed, please have a closed casket service for both. The funeral home agent tells us the open casket will be possible. The DIL's face was more damaged than our son's, but they believe they can cover the damage with make-up.

Does this collaboration between in-law grandfathers qualify as a miricle? It is a first in my personal experience. Miricle or not, it is a beautiful show in this tragic hour. Go guys. Way to do the do! ! ! Perhaps the greater miricle is that ES found enough strength in his 40 year old body to open his parent-financed bedroom door and participate. A little. I think. Maybe. Rumor has it. I'm not looking too close yet. At 40, he has been hiding behind his bedroom door for long enough that ? ? ? His dormant life is his to sort. . . Opportunity took the hint and started leaving his unresponsive door alone decades ago. Sleep well, my middle aged child. 

CPS delivered a *request* that the 2 older children be evaluated by a speech pathologist. Big Sis's appointment is scheduled for this morning. Big Bro's evaluation was in the hopper first, but it seems to have gotten lost in the system. Perhaps his appointment is simply harder to schedule because of the need to schedule around school. Big Sis has yet to start school because of a parental opposition to immunization. Public schools have been bullied into allowing the anti-immunization movement, so Big Bro was admitted with the help of waivers, etc. Not a political placard I would have chosen for my own agitation urges, but that part was easy enough. Big Sis is only three and anxious for a school of her own. In the highly progressive capital city, she dearly loved the school she attended, but private small town pre-schools ain't buying the political agenda. We havenae been able to find a pre-school that will respect the parental politics. Sorry, beloved mother. Your Monster-in-law doesn't respect that agenda, either. All three children will be immunized after the guardian details are settled. I donae care enough one way or the other to choose a side in the immunization debate, but I believe your oldest daughter needs her school and I will do whatever is needed to get her there. No disrespect of your politics intended. That progressive pre-school that accepted the immunization waiver wasnae progressive enough to accept diapers in the 3 year old class. She was expelled for lack of potty training. She still misses that school and seems to feel cheated that she cannae return now that she has mastered potty training. Works in progress, beloved child. . .

Both older siblings seem to talking freely about the loss of their parents. Big Sis more than Big Bro. Big Sis is almost ghoulish in the casual ease with which she talks about it. "My Mommy died." has become her newest social greeting. She has been working the livestock with me far enough that death is a familiar concept to her. I amnae at all certain that dead parents are the same as a dead calf in the pasture or a dead feather baby in the brooding pen, but ? ? ? Who knows what goes on in the mind of a 3 year old?

Each of Big Bro's talking jags has been preceeded by some act of meanness toward his sister. While respecting Big Sis's need to be protected and comforted, we have been taking care to use the moment for drawing out his grief far more than punishing the misdeed. Just breathe, my grieving child.

Little Sis is just riding the emotional waves around her. At 9 months, her world isnae too much bigger than her middle aged uncle's world.

Processing. . . Ouchus maximus. . .