kansasgirl1970

Well here it is, 2 years since dday. My last journal entry was one year ago, yet I could simply copy and paste. While many things in life have changed: my youngest is away at school, oldest finances...

Tomorrow it will be one year since my world came crashing down around me.  One whole year. how can that be? All I really want to do is crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep.

Heart racing again. Can't sleep. Bad dreams. Anxious. Scared. Sad. Floundering. Falling. Tired. Numb. Weepy. Achy. Fat. Lazy. Unmotivated. Ugly. Failing. Depressed.At ten months past dday this is how...

Ok, so birthday dinner was a success, everyone ate too much :) lol. Had a little chaos before though.  Oldest d had flat tire on way home, like only a mile from home, but iritating, cuz was brand...

Well, not sure where to start. It's been more than 3 weeks since I last,,,journaled? wow flashback as I was typing that,  wanted to say been to confession, lol Catholic school upbringing :) Anyway,...

I am a mess. Still not sleeping well, doc changed nighttime sleep med from trazodone to ambien. I was little leery of the ambien, have heard stories, lol. But anyway, I waited till last night to try...

So we go back to mc tonight, I had homework.  So far I think Im getting a failing grade :( there's that word again, oh well.Didn't do a damn thing for anniversary, granted it was a monday night, the...

February 27.  Today is my wedding anniversary, 19 years married.  21 years together.All I want to do is weep.Maybe throw things.Eat junk food , drink soda and lay in bed.What progress.

Ok ya'll make me smile first off :) And having you along for the ride with me on this journey is more than I could have asked for, my own cheering section :) Thanks all.So I thought I'd introduce you...

Ok so good news first.Doc office called and all blood and urine tests came back clean for std's :)  Let me tell you though, doc told me would only call if bad news, that no news was good news, so...

Blogger posted this response on the infidelity board to a woman, sad and lonely divorcing, h left her for ow, and she missing h :"The only suggestion I could think of is think of how you would feel...

Mostly more of the same.  Feeling a little better maybe physically.  But still not good.Still just gloomy. Ready to be out of this funk.  I know there are some things I could be doing to help...

Still feel like crap. Three days now, maybe not quite as bad as yesterday.   But in a lot of pain.  Making me grumpy   and irritable.  Still haven't started either, so wth knows what my hormones...

Ok, my night sucked.First, I think I am fighting some kind of bug.  I feel like dog doookie.  I havent actually gotten sick, but intense stomach pain from chest down. Bloated feeling, hurts to...

I made my mind up that I was going to make valentines day good this year.  I have many things to be thankful for.  The A did not take place over valentines past, so it's all mine.  In years past...