Anniversary
February 27. Today is my wedding anniversary, 19 years married. 21 years together.
All I want to do is weep.
Maybe throw things.
Eat junk food , drink soda and lay in bed.
What progress.
All I want to do is weep.
Maybe throw things.
Eat junk food , drink soda and lay in bed.
What progress.
Replies
This is your first anniversary post Dday so I\'m not at all surprised you feel like this. TODAY is NOT a day for measuring progress. Just let today be what it is.
My Dday is June 9th. Three days later on June 12th I was suppose to celebrate 6 years of marriage. All I could do was yell at him that he is so impatient he couldn\'t even wait another year for the seven year itch. It was a horrible day. That was 2010.
Last year, 2011, on June 12th, I buried my favorite uncle.
Personally, I\'m not a big fan on my wedding anniversary anymore. So flat out I just chalk that day up to a loss. Will it always be a loss? I don\'t know. But I guess if ever there comes a June 12th were at the end of the day I find it\'s not, well that will be cool because I will have woke that morning expecting the worst.
Weep a little, go to a lake or pond and throw stones in the water, eat a nice filling comfort meal, treat yourself to something nice like a facial or a new perfume, go home, take a bath and then lay in bed and watch a feel good movie. It\'s hard to aknowledge and celebrate something like an anniversary.
Ditto on lotus. My anniversary is also June 12th. Dday was May 21, 2010. Less than 3 weeks later, H wanted to take me to Catalina Island. I\'ve never been. Initally he put me in charge of it. But when I booked a cabana and a luxury suite - he took over. Changed the venue to a place where he and his 1st wife went. It was an anniversary that I was not happy about AT ALL. I too, am no longer a fan of anniversaries. While I don;t see it as a total loss, I don\'t want to celebrate it either. Maybe in time.
So yeah - go get a massage for yourself, a pedi or buy something that makes you feel good. And let the day go. Hugs to you my friend!
Yep, don\'t use this as a measure of progress. Would it make you feel better after a good uninhibited cry? I found that when I cried and screamed, I felt better letting all that pain out. And then I got up off the floor and went about the rest of the day in a better mindset than if I had tried to supress it.
I want to reclaim my anniversary and for the most part I think I did an okay job of it, with h\'s help. I don\'t know if I\'m being too forgiving or shoving my feelings down deep, but I make it a point to see how hard h is working to help me feel safe and if I focused so much on me, it would be so much harder to heal. I guess it\'s sort of like driving and focusing farther up the road instead of intently paying attention to turning the steering wheel.
I think you\'ll feel better soon. Your spirit is too bright and loving. It\'s that damn time thing you can\'t get around.
Have a good cry. Then go get yourself out of the house and drink a healthy smoothie. You\'ll feel a hundred times better than drinking soda and munching on junk food indoors, trust me on this one! Is it sunny out there today? Catch some mood-lifting rays. Get a mani and a pedi. Maybe a facial or a massage? The idea is to work the stress off and get the endorphons flowing. Hugs!!!
I can\'t add much. The first anything after dday is the worst. It will get better! Please do not put any pressure on yourself...go have some chocolate! Sending you hugs.
Take today with a grain of salt, one day it will mean something and until then it\'s just another day. I agree with everyone, treat yourself, have a good cry, and exercise to get the stress out. I wouldn\'t drink unless you drink enough to pass out (lol) because you may just get more emotional.
My first anniversary was tough but we just celebrated our 3rd since D-day in Nov. and I\'m finally feeling better. I still question whether I should subract the time the A went on from our years of marriage but I am looking at my marriage now as the marriage I always wanted and deserved minus some triggers in there.
If you can try and remember that your H did choose you and look at the changes he\'s made. It still sucks that he did make those bad choices before but at least for today try to focus on the choices he\'s made since D-day.
I\'m sorry your hurting.
Hugs to you. Why did they have to go and wreck everything?! Hopefully someday it\'ll all be a faded memory.
I\'m sorry Hon, but it is par for the course! Doesn\'t make ya feel better at all, but it is what it is. Sometimes it takes a few months to even process, and it is still early in the game.
I do hope you did something for yourself though, and treated yourself extra special, as you should have. If not, tomorrow is a new Day! Seriously if the weather permits, get out, and take a little walk, feel the sunshine, and get some endorphins released. You are terrific, and do not measure yourself by your feelings. It\'s H\'s fault, in the first place, and now it will just take some time! Thinking of you!