GDJ1957

Well here goes again. I am going to try and journal again. I need to do some thing to get the words out of my head. Yesterday was a good day at the therapist. I need to keep myself in the here and...

Had a good meeting last night. It gave me a better outlook on myself. My HP is amazing. Always giving me what I need to hear. 

All I could think of last night was drinking. I thought about it for a couple of hours. I am noy going to drink but it is just the fact that it toke me so long to get to sleep and out of my head.

It is Saturday  So far i feel better  but it is only 6 AM  I hope today stays OK..

I have so much anger in me right now. I don't really know what to do with it. So much shit going on tonight in my life. I just want to rip some ones head off. Or take a lot of drinks. I...

I fell like shit today. Just very down for no good reason. I hope the day gets better.

I came back from my therapist today. I have a lot of shit I have to let go of from my past. Thinga I didn't even know I was connecting to. Shit that happened and didn't happen. At least I have a...

I feel like dying  again. I just don't want this life of mine.  I know I have a lot to live for. My life is really good right now. It is this depression again. I have been cutting a lot lately...

Things are going good so far. I have my bad days now and then. But Shelie is so good for me. She gives me a reason to live smile be happy to look to the future.

Things are still ok. I look at it this way. At least they are ok. I need to talk to my doc about the falling off the cliffs happening again. these ups and down like this are hard on me. I haven't...

Thank you to all my friends om here that have given me support and kind words. The thing about my cutting is. I don't feel any thing. I don't feel sad, happy, angry, lonely, ashamed. I don't even...

I tried yesterday not to but couldn't. I know I have a lot of friends here. It's just hard when I have the razor in hand and no one is online.  I don't have any one I can call or would know what I...

Here I sit with blade in hand. I don't want to but don't know how not to.

I had a bad night the other night. I cut 2 times and had to tell Shelie about it. I didn't want to but I do not keep secretes from her. I felt bad because she gets so sad that I hurt myself. I...

I feel really bad today. I want to cut right now. I feel like a burden to every one around me. I want to hurt myself right now. trying hard not to. Don'y know if i can stop myself. I need my blade...