GDJ1957

I have to look at the good things in my life. I have to make a gratitude list. I have to exercise and do some thing for myself today. I need to go for  walk. I don't want to live like this.

I woke up today at 5 AM and i felt like shit so i went back to sleep. I woke up at 7 AM and felt better. I am going to try my hardest to just do it this year. I hope along the way i can help others....

I want to wish all my friends a Happy new year. I hope it turns out to be better than last year. You all have been so very kind to me and very supportive. I don't know if I would have made it through...

I can't thank every body here enough for all they have done for me. You all have been here when i needed some one the most. I am looking forward to next year with new hope that i will make friends...

I had a good talk with my therapist today. I have such good friends here at DS. Every body here has been so kind and supportive to me. I have to start thinking that maybe i am an OK person. I have to...

In a world full of people. I feel so alone.

HATE LIFE

I sure could use a hug right about now. And not the X's ans O's that i get online. I need a person to hold. I miss the touch of a human. I feel so alone right now.

FUCK !

It is gloomy out here today. just like i feel. This up and down with my feelings is getting to me. One minute i am OK the i fall off a cliff. I know what i have to do it is just so hard to get going...

Did it again last night.

Xed again last night. I know i have to just turn it over to my HP. I just want to give up once and a while. I wish i could escape for one night. SO FUCKING TIRED!

I haven't felt good lately. I think i have a bug of some type. That makes it even harder to keep a smile on my face. The things that have helped me are the friends i have here. Every one has done so...

Why does the need always seem to happen early morning. Like at 3 or 4 Am. I know i should get here more and journal. I am keeping my head above water for now. I did it 2 times so far this week. I...