ThnkngOutLoud

Recently denial has been lifted in my life.  I married the man of my dreams 15 years ago...and we fought for custody of his then seven year old daughter.  During the custody battle which started...

Can I cry to you a thousand times a thousand?  Can I dream you up and talk to you in a world which is upside down and filled with riddles?  You who helped me enter this physical world have left me...

Bereavement... It's been two years since I have been hungry for food.  I have had myriad things fall on my head in my life - metaphorically speaking of course...but so much that is sounds like  a...

I have been caught up in my daily routine which is so scattered I literally start on one direction and end up in another.  It is wild.  Grief is a terribly difficult and long road  And during this...

I talk to the thin air at times.  Saying things like; " I can't believe I am living in the room you died in, and it doesn't bother me a bit..." or "Can you help me with this one?"... and then there...

Well I have been in and out of this wild new life that feels like a cross between sleepwalking and being completely asleep.  I have lived in my mom's house since the day she died.  We rented out...

I have been remiss at writing because my life has sped up a bit. And more so this last week. It is as if mom has given me a little bit of a push, a spiritual permission slip to start living in the...

We are nearing the one year mark.  However, earlier in the month I returned to Marin County, CA where we interned my mom last year with my brother who passed away in 1987 from a drunk driving...

I hope this is positive.  However, my days are not days, and my weeks are not weeks.  This is suspended time, hovering over sickness, gut wrenching sadness and enormous change - the kind of change...

She was carried down the stairs carefully wrapped in a crisp white sheet by a stranger. Though my husband Raj and I watched the process in all its infinite un-realness - it felt as if I was somehow...

This is the third Tuesday since mom passed.  So much has happened in our lives as we move into the present without her.  We had a memorial Mass for her last week. Family flew in from out of town,...

written by Sir Henry Scott Holland  ( 1847 - 1918 )Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it...

Moms first memorial Mass was on Thursday, September 22 at St. Maria Goretti's.  There was a nice turn out...35-40 people,  and that was just from being here a few short years...I am sure our SF...

All night we were up and down, in and out of her room, administering different remedies included in the Hospice "Care Kit' which included, morphine, adavan, suppositories, expectants, and drops to...

On Friday we had our first 'in-take' appointment with our hospice nurse, Bernice. She came to the house at about two and left at 3:30. It was a full meeting - so full of reality - I think both my...