ThnkngOutLoud

 REVEALING DREAM - Mom and I were in St. Sebastian's Church; the church we grew up in while living in Marin County California.  And Fr Leach - who has also passed was present in this dream with my...

I have been off the grid lately - in part because I am re-entering the world - and  I also recently went back home -  returning  the place I stood as a different person than I am now, today,...

I can be sitting and doing anything, I can even be driving, or talking, or walking and or in a conversation, and an image takes over my mind and swallows my attention whole - they are images of my...

I am becoming a new person in a new time in my life.  I live in a new town, a new house, but a familiar house - I drive in my car, and then I drive in her car.I may be eating from her plates, but...

Before I forget them all-  I am making this effort to recall my dreams when they occurred and why I think they are important before they are forever lost in my bumbling brain of nonsense.Shortly...

She was carried down the stairs carefully wrapped in a crisp white sheet by a stranger. Though my husband Raj and I watched the process in all its infinite un-realness - it felt as if I was somehow...

This is the third Tuesday since mom passed.  So much has happened in our lives as we move into the present without her.  We had a memorial Mass for her last week. Family flew in from out of town,...

written by Sir Henry Scott Holland  ( 1847 - 1918 )Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it...

Moms first memorial Mass was on Thursday, September 22 at St. Maria Goretti's.  There was a nice turn out...35-40 people,  and that was just from being here a few short years...I am sure our SF...

All night we were up and down, in and out of her room, administering different remedies included in the Hospice "Care Kit' which included, morphine, adavan, suppositories, expectants, and drops to...

On Friday we had our first 'in-take' appointment with our hospice nurse, Bernice. She came to the house at about two and left at 3:30. It was a full meeting - so full of reality - I think both my...

I have fallen down -  and up the stairs -  if you can believe that one.  I took a tumble down the stairs yesterday while attending to mom's breakfast meal, and I just went on bouncing on my ass as...

It has been hard to find time sandwiched in-between everything that is going on here in mom's life ending.  Some amazing moments are occurring.  A few days ago, a melt down for both of us - in...

Its been a week of weeks and a month of months.  Eight days ago, we had to go to the hospital and then the rehab hospital and well it was a trek to get to both places and to care for my mom who has...

An interesting wrinkle of fate.  Mom is a child inside her adultness.  I got to the hospital at about 10:00 am and the momma hadn't eaten breakfast, but had communion from the eucharistic minister...