August is here...hidden entry releasing now...

I have been caught up in my daily routine which is so scattered I literally start on one direction and end up in another.  It is wild.  Grief is a terribly difficult and long road  And during this huge life change of loosing my mom - I have lost another friend this last week which just reminds me over and over that this lifetime is fleeting and it ends as abruptly or not as abruptly as it starts.  I had become a mom over night to a 5 year old.  I din't give birth to her or have any warning - POP there she was and there I was in a new life with my fiance at the time, now husbad, dealing with a child - fast forward to today.  It's nearly two years since mom died.  ANd I talk to her and I dream of her and I ask her to answer questions, and help me from the other side.  I do feel her at times, and know I am the beneficiary of tremenous gift - but now as we come around the corner of her two year annoiversary...and my 50th birthday I can't help but reel in the lessons one and a time and they fill up my whole boat.