ThnkngOutLoud

I have fallen down -  and up the stairs -  if you can believe that one.  I took a tumble down the stairs yesterday while attending to mom's breakfast meal, and I just went on bouncing on my ass as...

It has been hard to find time sandwiched in-between everything that is going on here in mom's life ending.  Some amazing moments are occurring.  A few days ago, a melt down for both of us - in...

Its been a week of weeks and a month of months.  Eight days ago, we had to go to the hospital and then the rehab hospital and well it was a trek to get to both places and to care for my mom who has...

An interesting wrinkle of fate.  Mom is a child inside her adultness.  I got to the hospital at about 10:00 am and the momma hadn't eaten breakfast, but had communion from the eucharistic minister...

The last two days are part of the time warp I am traveling in with each breath of air I breath...and the transformation of my mother is astounding.  She has melted before my eyes and her voice is...

My husband came to help me with my mom two weeks ago...and it was so much easier with him here.  I didn't have to be alone with my thoughts, or with my anxiety over what my mom is going through, or...

My husband came to help me with my mom two weeks ago...and it was so much easier with him here.  I didn't have to be alone with my thoughts, or with my anxiety over what my mom is going through, or...

Saturday July 23, 2011Today began in the regular bubble I have been living in for the last month, but with a time delay.  I actually didn't get out of the house until 2:30 and felt a new sense of...

I started to write about my cousin visiting my mom yesterday and how it uplifted Mom's spirits,  and then my lap top disconnected from the page and I lost it.  So rather than go back wards, I want...

The slam came the day before my in laws were to arrive for a weeks vacation in California. My mom had phoned to tell me she had a growth removed from her chest that had come back cancerous.  She...

I can be sitting and doing anything, I can even be driving, or talking, or walking and or in a conversation, and an image takes over my mind and swallows my attention whole - they are images of my...

I am becoming a new person in a new time in my life.  I live in a new town, a new house, but a familiar house - I drive in my car, and then I drive in her car.I may be eating from her plates, but...

Before I forget them all-  I am making this effort to recall my dreams when they occurred and why I think they are important before they are forever lost in my bumbling brain of nonsense.Shortly...

She was carried down the stairs carefully wrapped in a crisp white sheet by a stranger. Though my husband Raj and I watched the process in all its infinite un-realness - it felt as if I was somehow...

This is the third Tuesday since mom passed.  So much has happened in our lives as we move into the present without her.  We had a memorial Mass for her last week. Family flew in from out of town,...