Pauljac49

I'M LYING IN BED WATCHING TV AND THINKING ABOUT JACKIE.  ITS THE SAME THING EVERY NIGHT.  TONIGHT I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT IT.  TELL MY SISTERS, WHO KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE HOW I FEEL.I DIDN'T GO...

HI EVERYONE,  HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU,  ESPECIALLY THOSE CAUGHT UP WITH "SANDY"/  i'M ON STATEN ISLAND, BUT LIVE ON THE 7TH FLOOR OF A HIGH RISE BUILDING SO I ONLY LOST POWER,  FOR FOUR DAYS,...

I HAVE NOT BEEN GETTING EMAILS.  FINALLY I HAVE THEM.  I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL.  I AM DOING BETTER BUT I KNOW IT IS TEMPORARY.  BUT THATS OK.  I WIIL CRY UNTIL THE DAY I AM WITH JACKAIE ONCE...

EVER SINCE I HAD THAT VISION, OR THOUGHT I HAD THAT VISION I'M HEADING DOWNHILL AGAIN.  I WENT TO THE CEMETARY ON MONDAY AND THANKED JACKIE FOR COMING TO SEE ME. YOU ALL ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE ON...

A FEW MINUTES AGO I ANSWERED TERI'S JOURNAL "BELIEVE".   TOO MANY THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING LATELY AND I REALLY DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT BEING JACKIE.  I SORT OF DID, BUT WASN'T TRUELY CONVINCED. ...

HI EVERYONE,  IN CASE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MY NEW TATTOO, I POSTED IT TO MY PHOTOS.    WHAT A DAY, SO EMOTIONAL.  BUT IN MY HEART I KNEW THAT MY JACKIE WAS LOOKING DOWN AND SMILING.    I...

THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR WELL WISHES.  I AM FEELING BETTER, MOVING AROUND MORE.  I JUST COULDN'T STAY IN BED ANYMORE AND I HAVE TO GET UP AND OUT A LITTLE.  SO I'M GOING FOR MY TATTOO TOMORROW.ITS...

JUST WANTED TO WRITE A THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY SISTERS HERE FOR YOUR LOVE, UNDERSTANDING AND HUGS FOR JACKIE'S BIRTHDAY.I FELL AND HURT MY BACK SO I HAVE BEEN IN BED FOR A WEEK.  I'M FEELING A LITTLE...

It will be 14 months on July 10th since my Jackie is gone.  The first year I tried very, very hard not to be upset with or place blame.  I am a rational person. I know I have mentioned Jackie was...

HI EVERYONE,   ANOTHER HOLIDAY PASSES AND NOW I HAVE JACKIE'S BIRTHDAY COMING UP.  4TH OF JULY HAD ME CRYING ALL NIGHT.  IT WAS JUST ANOTHER HOLIDAY WE ALL USED TO CELEBRATE TOGETHER AS A...

Sometimes I think that I just believe which I want to believe.  My life now has changed so much.   Jackie is gone, 34 years of marriage is gone.  I live with my sister, I'm on Klonopin, Prozac, I...

As you all know, at one time or another I have written how I hope Jackie's friends are going to visit her.   To me, this is important.  I want her to know that she is not forgotten and I believe...

I didn't go to the cemetary on my first Mother's Day without Jackie.  I went on May 10th, her first anniversary.  I wrote  on line in my journal about how her friend showed up and it made me feel...

Yesterday, May 9th was my sister and my nieces birthday,  mother and daughter.  They didn't want to celebrate because Jackie decided to leave us today, May 10th.  But I made them dinner, (I live...

I HAVEN'T BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR A WHILE.  JUST WASN'T IN THE MOOD.  I JUST HATE THE ANTICIPATION OF DAYS THAT WILL TRIGGER ME.  MY DR. SAYS THAT SOMETIMES THE ANTICIPATION IS WORSE THAN THE...